Year One

A year ago tomorrow afternoon, R's plane landed. A year ago today, I was so worried about tomorrow.....I had no idea what to expect. I went back and realized that I never told the manic story or that day.

Not that you care, but someday I want a record of this to look back on and laugh....Hell, I laugh now thinking about it.

R had told me that he would be flying back from Afghanistan sometime in mid-February. We were just friends at this time; good friends. We would talk for hours either on the phone or by messengers or Skype, but we never really could get it together to try to make a go of it. My biggest problem was that I was fairly recently divorced and I had a lot of trust issues. I still do, but R has helped me work through A LOT of these issues. We had begun to talk more and more of all the things we wanted to do when he came home.

I remember asking him who, of his family, would be coming in for the Welcome Home Ceremony. I was so sad when he said that they couldn't come in, and it wasn't a big deal; this was his third deployment after all. I told him that no one should be alone after coming home from war. And I was not going to let that happen. I remember hearing him snicker a little then said, "Well, I had planned to ask you if you would be there, but you kind of just invited yourself."

The days leading up to his return we talked a little, but it got difficult because he had several layovers in different countries. He had showed me the website with the flight schedule and told me which flight was expected to be his. I remember R saying to check it often because they updated it all the time with new information. The closer it got, the time and date seemed to be pretty set.

It had been so wonderfully snowy all that winter, but Mother Nature had finally decided that it was getting to be a little late in Kentucky's winter for snow, so she decided to drown us.

The day of his flight (I was still teaching at the time), the gym teacher had asked me to cover his class while he had a meeting. I had packed a bag so I could run to my friend's house to take a shower, fix my hair, fix my makeup, put on a cute outfit, and probably hit Starbucks on my way to Fort Campbell: his flight was scheduled to be in at 8:00 P.M.

That morning I checked the site to make sure everything was on schedule. I taught my history classes all day with a big smile on my face, but butterflies in my stomach. I checked the website again when I sent the kids to lunch; everything was still on schedule. YAY! I went to the gym to cover the last couple classes; they were playing kickball. The final class was a small class and they had asked me to "pitch" for them. As expected, a ball heads straight for my face. Somehow I moved just in time to avoid having a bloody nose. Crisis averted, YAY!

I stopped by my friend's classroom at the end of the day. While we chatted, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I checked the website again.....the flight had been changed......4:15 P.M. I glanced at the clock...3:25 P.M.!!!!!! Post is about a 20 minute (or so) drive! I literally ran out of the school to the parking lot. It's pouring outside! I had time to grab my bag and change shirts at her house and fly down the road. I do not know how I did not get pulled over. I made it to the gate where the guard gave me the worse directions....it was now 3:55. By 4:05 I was lost. I found a MP Officer and he gave me better directions. I pulled into the parking lot to meet the shuttle bus to go to the hanger. The guard at the parking lot entrance must have radioed the bus to tell them not to leave. The only space left is at the far end of the parking lot. I remember thinking, "If he isn't on this flight, I am going to kill him!"

It's still raining. I did not have an umbrella.

I ran through the parking lot, in the pouring rain to catch the last shuttle bus. The guard helped me on the bus and told the driver to hurry, the plane had already landed. This was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the window. GAWD!!!!! My hair is clumpy and wet, my eyeliner is smudged, my face is blotchy, so I did the best I could running my fingers through my hair and trying to clean-up my face. All I had with me was my phone and my keys.

The bus pulls up to the hanger, and the moment that we pulled open the small door to the hanger, the huge back door of the hanger began to open, the band began to play, and the soldiers began their march into the building.

I was shaking, but I wasn't cold....I couldn't tell if I was nervous, or if I was just so emotionally charged that I couldn't help it. I had told him that I would be wearing a bright red coat so we could find each other. I scanned the rows of camo looking for his face from my spot in the crowd. That's when I saw him, and he found me at the same time. How do I know this, he got a little grin on his face.....well as much of a grin as he could while standing at attention.

The ceremony took FOREVER! Everyone decided that they wanted to address the crowd, and I was getting fidgety. The moment that they released the soldiers to go to their loved ones, the bleachers on either side of the hanger emptied. I was standing close to the small door at the front of the hanger and I lost sight of him.

Okay, I'm short, so I was jumping and pushing my way through trying to make my way to the floor. All I could see was a sea of camouflage.

Suddenly there were arms around me.

It felt like being pulled from drowning in the ocean. He was there, with me. 

The 15 minutes that I got with him went by too quickly. He had to go back to his unit and turn in this weapons and get his barracks assignment and all that good fun stuff. 

Eventually we reconvened and went on our first date. During one of our conversations while he was gone, I had asked what he missed most.....Taco Bell, and beer.  He had to get stuff for his room (sheets, tv, stuff like that) so I took him to Wal-mart, then Taco Bell. We went back to his room to hook up his tv, unpack, watch movies and have a drink. During the second movie, he got up the courage to kiss me.

Since then, I have never been happier.

(Okay, horrible picture of him......we need to get more pictures together)

So, this weekend he has something planned......I am a type A person.....I need a plan, and he won't share. He told me I won't be cooking, and I don't need to get anything. I offered to get wine, dessert, anything, but the only answer I get is, "I have everything taken care of."

So naturally, I'm scared to death LOL!!!!

Valentine's Day

V-day wasn't bad, not at all......Granted, it did fall on a Tuesday, so we couldn't make a big evening of it, but we hadn't planned to. You see, it turns out that our anniversary is Saturday, so, we decided to just get together and grab a bite to eat and just be together for a couple hours. But Saturday, Saturday is ours. I'm probably going to lock both of our phones in the car so we won't be bothered. He said he has the weekend all planned out...I'm slightly frightened.

I know that I have a very limited amount of time with R right now. The closer that it gets to May 10th, the less likely that it is that they are going to cancel his orders for Korea. So, I have been crying lately, a lot.....and that is NOT like me. I know he'll be back before our anniversary next year, but still.......

Back to happier things.

R sent me a text on Monday asking for my office phone number and address.......fishy. He said it was because he needed a reference for his security clearance re-whatever. I gave him the information, knowing he was full of shit. Sure enough, yesterday I got a call from the super scary security guard at the front of the building saying that he, "needed me to come to the front office." Okay, I has certain that it was because R had sent me something for Valentine's Day, but he's scary.....so there was a slight concern that I had done something that I was about to pay for.

Nope, roses. And more roses, and more roses! Damn baby. I picked up the flowers and had crossed half the lobby when he booms, "COME BACK HERE." I think I almost peed my pants, seriously. I had walked off without my giant box of chocolate and the cute little teddy bear. 

The fact that my flowers make my office smell like a florist, almost made it tolerable to work late last night.

I said almost.

Yeah, I was an hour late getting to R's place to go to dinner. But like I said, we didn't make a big deal of it. We went to a little Mexican place on post, then back to his room to watch Archer, then Top Shot with his roommate and two of our other friends. I had made Reeces bars for him so the five of us munched on those and laughed at the crassness of the adult cartoon.

Last night was what Valentine's Day is supposed to be....a room full of love. While those guys would never say that they love each other, they do. I have seen them stand up for each other and bend over backward for each other. I love those guys because they love my love, and at some point, each of them has told me that they think of me as their sister. It was a good, fun night.

But don't think for a second that we are spending this weekend with any of them.....he is mine this weekend. I can't believe that it will have been a year on Saturday. I might talk about that more later.

Carolina Love posted this video on her blog and I love it. I honestly cried.....I know! Like I said, this is NOT like me to be all weepy, GAWD!!!!!!

That is the kind of love that I have always wanted......I think I have finally found it.

Too much, all at once......

I have been emotionally distraught and exhausted in the last couple weeks. I have slept very little lately, unless R is next to me. But my apartment is super clean; that's what I do when I can't sleep.

My washing machine blew-up. The doctors confirmed today that my grandmother has cancer. Korea is not as "off the table" as the army led us us believe.

I wish things would stop falling down around me, just for a little bit. I wish we had more time.......

The House Bug

I have been bitten by the house bug. This isn't the first time. This strange sensation has come and gone for a while now; but lately, there is more urgency, and it's sticking around and won't stop biting.

I am sick, SICK of my insanely long commute to work every morning. Then there is the issue of the dogs: I have noticed that they seem to feel confined. I would love to have a house so they can have a little more freedom than they do in my tiny one bedroom apartment.  I have a friend that works in a realtor's office and she put me in contact with an AMAZING realtor. I have several houses picked out that I really like, and the commute will be cut in half (which means that my gas consumption will be cut in half, and with these prices that will be amazing), and moving to Tennessee would be a boost to my paycheck. Let me explain; I have been paying Kentucky state income tax since I live in Kentucky but work in Tennessee. Tennessee doesn't have a state income tax.

R and I are going to conduct a 'drive by' of the houses this weekend. He doesn't want me to be by myself when he deploys in a less than stellar neighborhood.

All the houses that I have looked at are within my price range: i.e. I could afford the payments on my own if need be. But for some reason, today I was gripped by a paralyzing fear. That sick-to-your-stomach, sweat on your forehead fear. 'What if I lose my job?' 'What if something happens?' 'What if my car spontaneously combusts and I have to get a new one?' OMG!!!!!  Then there is the other fear: what if I can't get a morgage loan? My credit is pretty good, and I have been running the mortgage calculators at a worst-case scenario and I can still afford the payments. This shouldn't be a problem. I have looked at renting, but the funny thing is, even at worst-case scenario, mortgage payments will still be less than rent. Come to think of it, this is exactly the way I felt when I signed my year lease with my first apartment during my divorce. And, let's be honest, that was the best move I could have ever made.

These houses are not huge, they are modest. Modest, cute two to three bedroom houses. My only criteria is that it doesn't need tons of renovation, and we need a fenced in backyard. When I talk about tons of renovation, I am talking about new flooring, new cabinets, new appliances...that kind of thing.

R and I haven't really had a lot of discussion about this. I have a feeling that he plans on this being an "us" thing, you know, "our" house. We just haven't really discussed it. We have talked about what "we" want in the house. He has been looking at the houses with me, and like I said, WE are going to drive by the houses together on Saturday. I suppose I am just looking at this as 'I' will be buying the house, 'I' will be getting the mortgage, but I don't know that that is what he wants. But how do I ask him if this is going to be an "our" thing?

So, some of the symptoms of the house-bug bite, a nervous tummy and lots of questions.......

A Gilmore Book List

While browsing Pinterest, which is not uncommon for me, I found a wonderful blog link It's Time to Read. Here they have listed the books that Rory Gilmore read on the show. I was a fan of Gilmore Girls when it was on, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I still watch reruns from time to time. So here's my round up.....I think this may be my new challenge........

1984 by George Orwell
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Archidamian War by Donald Kagan
The Art of Fiction by Henry James
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Atonement by Ian McEwan
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Babe by Dick King-Smith
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation by Seamus Heaney
The Bhagava Gita
The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews by Peter Duffy
Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel
A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays by Mary McCarthy
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Brick Lane by Monica Ali
Bridgadoon by Alan Jay Lerner
Candide by Voltaire
The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White
The Children’s Hour by Lillian Hellman
Christine by Stephen King
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
The Collected Short Stories by Eudora Welty
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty by Eudora Welty
A Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Complete Novels by Dawn Powell
The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton
Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas père
Cousin Bette by Honor’e de Balzac
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber
The Crucible by Arthur Miller
Cujo by Stephen King
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
David and Lisa by Dr Theodore Issac Rubin M.D
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
The Da Vinci -Code by Dan Brown
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
Demons by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Deenie by Judy Blume
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band by Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx
The Divine Comedy by Dante
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
Don Quijote by Cervantes
Driving Miss Daisy by Alfred Uhrv
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe
Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn
Eloise by Kay Thompson
Emily the Strange by Roger Reger
Emma by Jane Austen
Empire Falls by Richard Russo
Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective by Donald J. Sobol
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
Ethics by Spinoza
Europe through the Back Door, 2003 by Rick Steves
Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
Extravagance by Gary Krist
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore
The Fall of the Athenian Empire by Donald Kagan
Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
The Fellowship of the Ring: Book 1 of The Lord of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien (TBR)
Fiddler on the Roof by Joseph Stein
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
Fletch by Gregory McDonald
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
Freaky Friday by Mary Rodgers
Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
George W. Bushism: The Slate Book of the Accidental Wit and Wisdom of our 43rd President by Jacob Weisberg
Gidget by Fredrick Kohner
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
The Godfather: Book 1 by Mario Puzo
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Alvin Granowsky
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
The Good Soldier by Ford Maddox Ford
The Gospel According to Judy Bloom
The Graduate by Charles Webb
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
The Group by Mary McCarthy
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J. K. Rowling
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (TBR)
Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry (TBR)
Henry IV, part I by William Shakespeare
Henry IV, part II by William Shakespeare
Henry V by William Shakespeare
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris
The Holy Barbarians by Lawrence Lipton
House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III (Lpr)
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
How the Light Gets in by M. J. Hyland
Howl by Allen Gingsburg
The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo
The Iliad by Homer
I’m with the Band by Pamela des Barres
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Inferno by Dante
Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee
Iron Weed by William J. Kennedy
It Takes a Village by Hillary Clinton
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
The Jumping Frog by Mark Twain
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito
The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Lady Chatterleys’ Lover by D. H. Lawrence
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 by Gore Vidal
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
The Legend of Bagger Vance by Steven Pressfield
Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens
The Little Locksmith by Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott - started but not finished
Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Love Story by Erich Segal
Macbeth by William Shakespeare
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
The Manticore by Robertson Davies
Marathon Man by William Goldman
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir
Memoirs of General W. T. Sherman by William Tecumseh Sherman
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
The Meaning of Consuelo by Judith Ortiz Cofer
Mencken’s Chrestomathy by H. R. Mencken
The Merry Wives of Windsro by William Shakespeare
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Miracle Worker by William Gibson
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Mojo Collection: The Ultimate Music Companion by Jim Irvin
Moliere: A Biography by Hobart Chatfield Taylor
A Monetary History of the United States by Milton Friedman
Monsieur Proust by Celeste Albaret
A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister by Julie Mars
A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf – started but not finished
Mutiny on the Bounty by Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall
My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and Its Aftermath by Seymour M. Hersh
My Life as Author and Editor by H. R. Mencken
My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru by Tim Guest
Myra Waldo’s Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 1978 by Myra Waldo
My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin
Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature by Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson
The New Way Things Work by David Macaulay
Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
Night by Elie Wiesel
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism by William E. Cain, Laurie A. Finke, Barbara E. Johnson, John P. McGowan
Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell
Notes of a Dirty Old Man by Charles Bukowski
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Old School by Tobias Wolff
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life by Amy Tan
Oracle Night by Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
Othello by Shakespeare
Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens
The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War by Donald Kagan
Out of Africa by Isac Dineson
The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton
A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition by Donald Kagan
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Peyton Place by Grace Metalious
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Pigs at the Trough by Arianna Huffington
Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker
The Portable Nietzche by Fredrich Nietzche
The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill by Ron Suskind
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Property by Valerie Martin
Pushkin: A Biography by T. J. Binyon
Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw
Quattrocento by James Mckean
A Quiet Storm by Rachel Howzell Hall
Rapunzel by Grimm Brothers
The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad by Virginia Holman
The Return of the King: The Lord of the Rings Book 3 by J. R. R. Tolkien (TBR)
R Is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton
Rita Hayworth by Stephen King
Robert’s Rules of Order by Henry Robert
Roman Holiday by Edith Wharton
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
The Rough Guide to Europe, 2003 Edition
Sacred Time by Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary by William Faulkner
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford
Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller by Henry James
The Scarecrow of Oz by Frank L. Baum
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman
Selected Hotels of Europe
Selected Letters of Dawn Powell: 1913-1965 by Dawn Powell
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Several Biographies of Winston Churchill
Sexus by Henry Miller
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Shane by Jack Shaefer
The Shining by Stephen King
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
S Is for Silence by Sue Grafton
Slaughter-house Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Small Island by Andrea Levy
Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway
Snow White and Rose Red by Grimm Brothers
Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy: Lord and Peasant in the Making of the Modern World by Barrington Moore
The Song of Names by Norman Lebrecht
Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos by Julia de Burgos
The Song Reader by Lisa Tucker
Songbook by Nick Hornby
The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
Sonnets from the Portuegese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
A Streetcar Named Desiree by Tennessee Williams
Stuart Little by E. B. White
Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
Swimming with Giants: My Encounters with Whales, Dolphins and Seals by Anne Collett
Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Tender Is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Term of Endearment by Larry McMurtry
Time and Again by Jack Finney
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Tragedy of Richard III by William Shakespeare
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
The Trial by Franz Kafka
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elisabeth Robinson
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
Ulysses by James Joyce
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962 by Sylvia Plath
Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Unless by Carol Shields
Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
The Vanishing Newspaper by Philip Meyers
Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
Velvet Underground’s The Velvet Underground and Nico (Thirty Three and a Third series) by Joe Harvard
The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Walt Disney’s Bambi by Felix Salten
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
We Owe You Nothing – Punk Planet: The Collected Interviews edited by Daniel Sinker
What Colour is Your Parachute? 2005 by Richard Nelson Bolles
What Happened to Baby Jane by Henry Farrell
When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka
Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

Snow White and Etiquette

I realized that I may be on a bit of a Snow White kick. I love the show Once Upon a Time. I love the way that they take many fairy tales and weave them together.

And I love the trailers for the new movie Mirror Mirror - how hilarious is Julia Roberts in the trailer....and I love the fact that Snow White saves herself.

And I can't wait to see Snow White and the Huntsman - I cannot stand Kristen Stewart (yes, I am aware that I am opening up myself to a world of ridicule from the Twilight fans. I read the books and loved them, and the movies were OK, but this is just my humble opinion) but Chris Hemsworth and Charlise Theron are the cinches for me on this.....and the battle scenes.

Anyway, onto etiquette. What is the proper southern etiquette for a second wedding? LYNN STOP HYPERVENTILATING! R has NOT asked me to marry him, but he has been sneaking the words "marriage," "wedding," and "our" into a lot of conversations. 

I am one of those people who over thinks practically everything. So, this has resulted in me staring at my ceiling fan at night while I should be sleeping, all the while my brain alternating between, "What did he mean when he said _____________" and "Wow, I really need to clean those fan blades......"

At what point does the dust stop sticking to the blades and start to fly off like mad bat-like dust bunnies? Oh, right, back to R and his maddening wedding talk: he teases that he already has a ring and knows exactly where and when he wants to ask me....blah blah blah. I know this is BS because he wouldn't tell me exactly. I will say that the 'when and where' would have been very romantic: on my dad's farm, there is a little natural pool set back deep in the woods. Every time it snows I go for a walk out to 'my spot' (when I'm home) and just sit there in the snow listening to the silence and taking in the beauty of the snow. I have never taken anyone out there, it's MINE.....I have a problem sharing. Well, last year it snowed beautifully on Christmas and I went to my spot. R was deployed to Afghanistan so I did something very uncharisteristic for me, I SHARED my spot. I took pictures with my phone and emailed them to him as a way of SHARING it with him. Anyway, he said that he was going to do it there when it snows. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...............

The other day we were driving somewhere, I don't remember where, and he started talking about weddings. I have no idea why!!!! But, he said he wanted a bigger one than his brother. So, naturally, I giggled and said, "Well you must not be planning to marry me." I got a dumbfounded look in return so I had to explain. "Sweetie, I have been married before, it's not appropriate for me to have a big wedding.......much less a white dress." and I get, "Why not?" He doesn't really understand southern etiquette. But then, my over thinking took over and I began to wonder......what is the true southern etiquette for a second wedding? The web world has been no help, so what is it?

I doubt that I'll ever need it, but at this point is has begun to bother me......WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?!?!?!?

Christmas Time is Here

It looks like R and I will be spending Christmas at my sister's house this year. Someone in the army must have the Christmas spirit, because they granted him leave for the holidays but not before a bitter back and forth. I'm actually looking forward to it. Well, sortof.

It will be an interesting event. My parents have not spent a Christmas Eve in the same town since they got a divorce in 2004. But this year, they will both be there....in the same room......with eachother!!!!! I guess I always hoped that there would come a time when my parents would attempt to be civil to each other. I loved the scene in 4 Christmases when  both of Reeses' parents were sitting in the living room together with their respective significant others talking and making an effort for their grand kids. This hasn't happened yet in my family; my niece is now six years-old. I hate to jinx it, but I am hoping beyond hope that this year we may turn a corner. We will see. Yeah, I'm not holding my breath.

I am looking forward to spending Christmas with a few of R's army buddies. They were either not granted leave to make the trip home, don't want to make the trip, or they don't have a family to go home to. There is no way that I could stand to let them spend Christmas alone in the dreary barracks....they are coming with us.....YAY FREE ENTERTAINMENT.......and probably another holiday that will end much like Thanksgiving.....with the boys like this:

See what I mean about the entertainment.

R has been insufferable since he finished his Christmas shopping. He has found it so very entertaining to walk up to me and just smile and say, "Done!" and walk away. I am not finished.

He has gone so far as to taunt me with what he has for me. He bought it/them and it/they is/are living in the trunk of his roommate's car. I do not do well with surprises, so obviously I have been begging for hints. The only one that he will give me drives me up the walls. It's one of the, maybe, three Christmas carols that I absolutely cannot stand.

Yes, I know that the carol 12 Day's of Christmas was a way of passing on the Christmas story in a sort of code, but there is just something about the tempo and the repetition, it just grates on my nerves.....and that is the only hint he will give me. He did not know the hatred that I hold for that song when he gave me the "hint" which has now come to madden me. WHAT THE CRAP IS IT!!!!! GAHHHHH!!!!!!

I am trying not to think about it. In the meantime I will attempt to think of happier things, like watching my favorite Christmas specials on tv........

 I just LOVE Elf!

It makes me smile.

Gotta love Pinterest! That's where I found all the pictures but mine :)

W!!!!! T!!!!!! F!!!!!!!

I am now officially beyond angry with the Army. It seems like we have been battling one thing after another with R's military life: potential buy-out, health record mix-ups, KOREA!!!!, we're already dealing with drama surrounding the next deployment, and now his holiday leave.

He had put in for 21 days. Not a big deal, he has something like three or four months of leave built up that he has to take before he deploys in less than a year. So, please, please, someone explain to me why they have decided to deny his leave. Oh, they are making him take another PT test? Oh, three in one month? WTF! That was their original excuse. He took a PT test and passed, so they make him take another one last week, and now they are making him take another one this week. GAWD!!!! They said they would break up the 21 days into 10 in November and 11 in December....Okay, fine.

Guess who got word this weekend that he was going to be forced to go to WLC (some sort of warrior leadership bullshit) and yes, his leave will be canceled. SERIOUSLY! He has been trying to fight it and now they are saying that he is on the walk on list and may not have to go, but they are still going to cancel his leave.

WTF! SERIOUSLY!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN HOW ANY OF THIS IS ACCEPTABLE!

Ladies and Gentlemen......I HATE THE ARMY! Don't get me wrong, I love R and this does not reflect my sentiments about our troops. I support them whole heartedly, but the army system is F-U-C-T!

My mantra was, "June 2013.......June 2013......June 2013......" His out day WAS June 3, 2013.

Oh, but wait...... they are making him sign at three month extension. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!