Small Town Bibliophile

Year One

2012-02-17T12:35:00.000-06:00

A year ago tomorrow afternoon, R's plane landed. A year ago today, I was so worried about tomorrow.....I had no idea what to expect. I went back and realized that I never told the manic story or that day.

Not that you care, but someday I want a record of this to look back on and laugh....Hell, I laugh now thinking about it.

R had told me that he would be flying back from Afghanistan sometime in mid-February. We were just friends at this time; good friends. We would talk for hours either on the phone or by messengers or Skype, but we never really could get it together to try to make a go of it. My biggest problem was that I was fairly recently divorced and I had a lot of trust issues. I still do, but R has helped me work through A LOT of these issues. We had begun to talk more and more of all the things we wanted to do when he came home.

I remember asking him who, of his family, would be coming in for the Welcome Home Ceremony. I was so sad when he said that they couldn't come in, and it wasn't a big deal; this was his third deployment after all. I told him that no one should be alone after coming home from war. And I was not going to let that happen. I remember hearing him snicker a little then said, "Well, I had planned to ask you if you would be there, but you kind of just invited yourself."

The days leading up to his return we talked a little, but it got difficult because he had several layovers in different countries. He had showed me the website with the flight schedule and told me which flight was expected to be his. I remember R saying to check it often because they updated it all the time with new information. The closer it got, the time and date seemed to be pretty set.

It had been so wonderfully snowy all that winter, but Mother Nature had finally decided that it was getting to be a little late in Kentucky's winter for snow, so she decided to drown us.

The day of his flight (I was still teaching at the time), the gym teacher had asked me to cover his class while he had a meeting. I had packed a bag so I could run to my friend's house to take a shower, fix my hair, fix my makeup, put on a cute outfit, and probably hit Starbucks on my way to Fort Campbell: his flight was scheduled to be in at 8:00 P.M.

That morning I checked the site to make sure everything was on schedule. I taught my history classes all day with a big smile on my face, but butterflies in my stomach. I checked the website again when I sent the kids to lunch; everything was still on schedule. YAY! I went to the gym to cover the last couple classes; they were playing kickball. The final class was a small class and they had asked me to "pitch" for them. As expected, a ball heads straight for my face. Somehow I moved just in time to avoid having a bloody nose. Crisis averted, YAY!

I stopped by my friend's classroom at the end of the day. While we chatted, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I checked the website again.....the flight had been changed......4:15 P.M. I glanced at the clock...3:25 P.M.!!!!!! Post is about a 20 minute (or so) drive! I literally ran out of the school to the parking lot. It's pouring outside! I had time to grab my bag and change shirts at her house and fly down the road. I do not know how I did not get pulled over. I made it to the gate where the guard gave me the worse directions....it was now 3:55. By 4:05 I was lost. I found a MP Officer and he gave me better directions. I pulled into the parking lot to meet the shuttle bus to go to the hanger. The guard at the parking lot entrance must have radioed the bus to tell them not to leave. The only space left is at the far end of the parking lot. I remember thinking, "If he isn't on this flight, I am going to kill him!"

It's still raining. I did not have an umbrella.

I ran through the parking lot, in the pouring rain to catch the last shuttle bus. The guard helped me on the bus and told the driver to hurry, the plane had already landed. This was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the window. GAWD!!!!! My hair is clumpy and wet, my eyeliner is smudged, my face is blotchy, so I did the best I could running my fingers through my hair and trying to clean-up my face. All I had with me was my phone and my keys.

The bus pulls up to the hanger, and the moment that we pulled open the small door to the hanger, the huge back door of the hanger began to open, the band began to play, and the soldiers began their march into the building.

I was shaking, but I wasn't cold....I couldn't tell if I was nervous, or if I was just so emotionally charged that I couldn't help it. I had told him that I would be wearing a bright red coat so we could find each other. I scanned the rows of camo looking for his face from my spot in the crowd. That's when I saw him, and he found me at the same time. How do I know this, he got a little grin on his face.....well as much of a grin as he could while standing at attention.

The ceremony took FOREVER! Everyone decided that they wanted to address the crowd, and I was getting fidgety. The moment that they released the soldiers to go to their loved ones, the bleachers on either side of the hanger emptied. I was standing close to the small door at the front of the hanger and I lost sight of him.

Okay, I'm short, so I was jumping and pushing my way through trying to make my way to the floor. All I could see was a sea of camouflage.

Suddenly there were arms around me.

It felt like being pulled from drowning in the ocean. He was there, with me.

The 15 minutes that I got with him went by too quickly. He had to go back to his unit and turn in this weapons and get his barracks assignment and all that good fun stuff.

Eventually we reconvened and went on our first date. During one of our conversations while he was gone, I had asked what he missed most.....Taco Bell, and beer. He had to get stuff for his room (sheets, tv, stuff like that) so I took him to Wal-mart, then Taco Bell. We went back to his room to hook up his tv, unpack, watch movies and have a drink. During the second movie, he got up the courage to kiss me.

Since then, I have never been happier.

(Okay, horrible picture of him......we need to get more pictures together)

So, this weekend he has something planned......I am a type A person.....I need a plan, and he won't share. He told me I won't be cooking, and I don't need to get anything. I offered to get wine, dessert, anything, but the only answer I get is, "I have everything taken care of."

So naturally, I'm scared to death LOL!!!!

Valentine's Day

2012-02-15T16:43:00.002-06:00

V-day wasn't bad, not at all......Granted, it did fall on a Tuesday, so we couldn't make a big evening of it, but we hadn't planned to. You see, it turns out that our anniversary is Saturday, so, we decided to just get together and grab a bite to eat and just be together for a couple hours. But Saturday, Saturday is ours. I'm probably going to lock both of our phones in the car so we won't be bothered. He said he has the weekend all planned out...I'm slightly frightened.

I know that I have a very limited amount of time with R right now. The closer that it gets to May 10th, the less likely that it is that they are going to cancel his orders for Korea. So, I have been crying lately, a lot.....and that is NOT like me. I know he'll be back before our anniversary next year, but still.......

Back to happier things.

R sent me a text on Monday asking for my office phone number and address.......fishy. He said it was because he needed a reference for his security clearance re-whatever. I gave him the information, knowing he was full of shit. Sure enough, yesterday I got a call from the super scary security guard at the front of the building saying that he, "needed me to come to the front office." Okay, I has certain that it was because R had sent me something for Valentine's Day, but he's scary.....so there was a slight concern that I had done something that I was about to pay for.

Nope, roses. And more roses, and more roses! Damn baby. I picked up the flowers and had crossed half the lobby when he booms, "COME BACK HERE." I think I almost peed my pants, seriously. I had walked off without my giant box of chocolate and the cute little teddy bear.

The fact that my flowers make my office smell like a florist, almost made it tolerable to work late last night.

I said almost.

Yeah, I was an hour late getting to R's place to go to dinner. But like I said, we didn't make a big deal of it. We went to a little Mexican place on post, then back to his room to watch Archer, then Top Shot with his roommate and two of our other friends. I had made Reeces bars for him so the five of us munched on those and laughed at the crassness of the adult cartoon.

Last night was what Valentine's Day is supposed to be....a room full of love. While those guys would never say that they love each other, they do. I have seen them stand up for each other and bend over backward for each other. I love those guys because they love my love, and at some point, each of them has told me that they think of me as their sister. It was a good, fun night.

But don't think for a second that we are spending this weekend with any of them.....he is mine this weekend. I can't believe that it will have been a year on Saturday. I might talk about that more later.

Carolina Love posted this video on her blog and I love it. I honestly cried.....I know! Like I said, this is NOT like me to be all weepy, GAWD!!!!!!

That is the kind of love that I have always wanted......I think I have finally found it.

Too much, all at once......

2012-02-08T17:49:00.001-06:00

I have been emotionally distraught and exhausted in the last couple weeks. I have slept very little lately, unless R is next to me. But my apartment is super clean; that's what I do when I can't sleep.

My washing machine blew-up. The doctors confirmed today that my grandmother has cancer. Korea is not as "off the table" as the army led us us believe.

I wish things would stop falling down around me, just for a little bit. I wish we had more time.......

The House Bug

2012-01-30T14:22:00.000-06:00

I have been bitten by the house bug. This isn't the first time. This strange sensation has come and gone for a while now; but lately, there is more urgency, and it's sticking around and won't stop biting.

I am sick, SICK of my insanely long commute to work every morning. Then there is the issue of the dogs: I have noticed that they seem to feel confined. I would love to have a house so they can have a little more freedom than they do in my tiny one bedroom apartment. I have a friend that works in a realtor's office and she put me in contact with an AMAZING realtor. I have several houses picked out that I really like, and the commute will be cut in half (which means that my gas consumption will be cut in half, and with these prices that will be amazing), and moving to Tennessee would be a boost to my paycheck. Let me explain; I have been paying Kentucky state income tax since I live in Kentucky but work in Tennessee. Tennessee doesn't have a state income tax.

R and I are going to conduct a 'drive by' of the houses this weekend. He doesn't want me to be by myself when he deploys in a less than stellar neighborhood.

All the houses that I have looked at are within my price range: i.e. I could afford the payments on my own if need be. But for some reason, today I was gripped by a paralyzing fear. That sick-to-your-stomach, sweat on your forehead fear. 'What if I lose my job?' 'What if something happens?' 'What if my car spontaneously combusts and I have to get a new one?' OMG!!!!! Then there is the other fear: what if I can't get a morgage loan? My credit is pretty good, and I have been running the mortgage calculators at a worst-case scenario and I can still afford the payments. This shouldn't be a problem. I have looked at renting, but the funny thing is, even at worst-case scenario, mortgage payments will still be less than rent. Come to think of it, this is exactly the way I felt when I signed my year lease with my first apartment during my divorce. And, let's be honest, that was the best move I could have ever made.

These houses are not huge, they are modest. Modest, cute two to three bedroom houses. My only criteria is that it doesn't need tons of renovation, and we need a fenced in backyard. When I talk about tons of renovation, I am talking about new flooring, new cabinets, new appliances...that kind of thing.

R and I haven't really had a lot of discussion about this. I have a feeling that he plans on this being an "us" thing, you know, "our" house. We just haven't really discussed it. We have talked about what "we" want in the house. He has been looking at the houses with me, and like I said, WE are going to drive by the houses together on Saturday. I suppose I am just looking at this as 'I' will be buying the house, 'I' will be getting the mortgage, but I don't know that that is what he wants. But how do I ask him if this is going to be an "our" thing?

So, some of the symptoms of the house-bug bite, a nervous tummy and lots of questions.......

A Gilmore Book List

2012-01-12T15:38:00.004-06:00

While browsing Pinterest, which is not uncommon for me, I found a wonderful blog link It's Time to Read. Here they have listed the books that Rory Gilmore read on the show. I was a fan of Gilmore Girls when it was on, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I still watch reruns from time to time. So here's my round up.....I think this may be my new challenge........

1984 by George Orwell
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Archidamian War by Donald Kagan
The Art of Fiction by Henry James
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Atonement by Ian McEwan
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Babe by Dick King-Smith
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation by Seamus Heaney
The Bhagava Gita
The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews by Peter Duffy
Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel
A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays by Mary McCarthy
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Brick Lane by Monica Ali
Bridgadoon by Alan Jay Lerner
Candide by Voltaire
The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White
The Children’s Hour by Lillian Hellman
Christine by Stephen King
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
The Collected Short Stories by Eudora Welty
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty by Eudora Welty
A Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Complete Novels by Dawn Powell
The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton
Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas père
Cousin Bette by Honor’e de Balzac
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber
The Crucible by Arthur Miller
Cujo by Stephen King
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
David and Lisa by Dr Theodore Issac Rubin M.D
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
The Da Vinci -Code by Dan Brown
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
Demons by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Deenie by Judy Blume
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band by Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx
The Divine Comedy by Dante
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
Don Quijote by Cervantes
Driving Miss Daisy by Alfred Uhrv
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe
Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn
Eloise by Kay Thompson
Emily the Strange by Roger Reger
Emma by Jane Austen
Empire Falls by Richard Russo
Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective by Donald J. Sobol
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
Ethics by Spinoza
Europe through the Back Door, 2003 by Rick Steves
Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
Extravagance by Gary Krist
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore
The Fall of the Athenian Empire by Donald Kagan
Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
The Fellowship of the Ring: Book 1 of The Lord of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien (TBR)
Fiddler on the Roof by Joseph Stein
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
Fletch by Gregory McDonald
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
Freaky Friday by Mary Rodgers
Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
George W. Bushism: The Slate Book of the Accidental Wit and Wisdom of our 43rd President by Jacob Weisberg
Gidget by Fredrick Kohner
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
The Godfather: Book 1 by Mario Puzo
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Alvin Granowsky
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
The Good Soldier by Ford Maddox Ford
The Gospel According to Judy Bloom
The Graduate by Charles Webb
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
The Group by Mary McCarthy
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J. K. Rowling
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (TBR)
Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry (TBR)
Henry IV, part I by William Shakespeare
Henry IV, part II by William Shakespeare
Henry V by William Shakespeare
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris
The Holy Barbarians by Lawrence Lipton
House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III (Lpr)
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
How the Light Gets in by M. J. Hyland
Howl by Allen Gingsburg
The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo
The Iliad by Homer
I’m with the Band by Pamela des Barres
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Inferno by Dante
Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee
Iron Weed by William J. Kennedy
It Takes a Village by Hillary Clinton
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
The Jumping Frog by Mark Twain
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito
The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Lady Chatterleys’ Lover by D. H. Lawrence
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 by Gore Vidal
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
The Legend of Bagger Vance by Steven Pressfield
Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens
The Little Locksmith by Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott - started but not finished
Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Love Story by Erich Segal
Macbeth by William Shakespeare
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
The Manticore by Robertson Davies
Marathon Man by William Goldman
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir
Memoirs of General W. T. Sherman by William Tecumseh Sherman
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
The Meaning of Consuelo by Judith Ortiz Cofer
Mencken’s Chrestomathy by H. R. Mencken
The Merry Wives of Windsro by William Shakespeare
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Miracle Worker by William Gibson
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Mojo Collection: The Ultimate Music Companion by Jim Irvin
Moliere: A Biography by Hobart Chatfield Taylor
A Monetary History of the United States by Milton Friedman
Monsieur Proust by Celeste Albaret
A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister by Julie Mars
A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf – started but not finished
Mutiny on the Bounty by Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall
My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and Its Aftermath by Seymour M. Hersh
My Life as Author and Editor by H. R. Mencken
My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru by Tim Guest
Myra Waldo’s Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 1978 by Myra Waldo
My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin
Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature by Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson
The New Way Things Work by David Macaulay
Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
Night by Elie Wiesel
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism by William E. Cain, Laurie A. Finke, Barbara E. Johnson, John P. McGowan
Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell
Notes of a Dirty Old Man by Charles Bukowski
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Old School by Tobias Wolff
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life by Amy Tan
Oracle Night by Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
Othello by Shakespeare
Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens
The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War by Donald Kagan
Out of Africa by Isac Dineson
The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton
A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition by Donald Kagan
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Peyton Place by Grace Metalious
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Pigs at the Trough by Arianna Huffington
Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker
The Portable Nietzche by Fredrich Nietzche
The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill by Ron Suskind
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Property by Valerie Martin
Pushkin: A Biography by T. J. Binyon
Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw
Quattrocento by James Mckean
A Quiet Storm by Rachel Howzell Hall
Rapunzel by Grimm Brothers
The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad by Virginia Holman
The Return of the King: The Lord of the Rings Book 3 by J. R. R. Tolkien (TBR)
R Is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton
Rita Hayworth by Stephen King
Robert’s Rules of Order by Henry Robert
Roman Holiday by Edith Wharton
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
The Rough Guide to Europe, 2003 Edition
Sacred Time by Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary by William Faulkner
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford
Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller by Henry James
The Scarecrow of Oz by Frank L. Baum
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman
Selected Hotels of Europe
Selected Letters of Dawn Powell: 1913-1965 by Dawn Powell
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Several Biographies of Winston Churchill
Sexus by Henry Miller
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Shane by Jack Shaefer
The Shining by Stephen King
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
S Is for Silence by Sue Grafton
Slaughter-house Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Small Island by Andrea Levy
Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway
Snow White and Rose Red by Grimm Brothers
Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy: Lord and Peasant in the Making of the Modern World by Barrington Moore
The Song of Names by Norman Lebrecht
Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos by Julia de Burgos
The Song Reader by Lisa Tucker
Songbook by Nick Hornby
The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
Sonnets from the Portuegese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
A Streetcar Named Desiree by Tennessee Williams
Stuart Little by E. B. White
Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
Swimming with Giants: My Encounters with Whales, Dolphins and Seals by Anne Collett
Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Tender Is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Term of Endearment by Larry McMurtry
Time and Again by Jack Finney
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Tragedy of Richard III by William Shakespeare
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
The Trial by Franz Kafka
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elisabeth Robinson
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
Ulysses by James Joyce
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962 by Sylvia Plath
Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Unless by Carol Shields
Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
The Vanishing Newspaper by Philip Meyers
Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
Velvet Underground’s The Velvet Underground and Nico (Thirty Three and a Third series) by Joe Harvard
The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Walt Disney’s Bambi by Felix Salten
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
We Owe You Nothing – Punk Planet: The Collected Interviews edited by Daniel Sinker
What Colour is Your Parachute? 2005 by Richard Nelson Bolles
What Happened to Baby Jane by Henry Farrell
When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka
Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

Snow White and Etiquette

2012-01-11T14:19:00.000-06:00

I realized that I may be on a bit of a Snow White kick. I love the show Once Upon a Time. I love the way that they take many fairy tales and weave them together.

And I love the trailers for the new movie Mirror Mirror - how hilarious is Julia Roberts in the trailer....and I love the fact that Snow White saves herself.

And I can't wait to see Snow White and the Huntsman - I cannot stand Kristen Stewart (yes, I am aware that I am opening up myself to a world of ridicule from the Twilight fans. I read the books and loved them, and the movies were OK, but this is just my humble opinion) but Chris Hemsworth and Charlise Theron are the cinches for me on this.....and the battle scenes.

Anyway, onto etiquette. What is the proper southern etiquette for a second wedding? LYNN STOP HYPERVENTILATING! R has NOT asked me to marry him, but he has been sneaking the words "marriage," "wedding," and "our" into a lot of conversations.

I am one of those people who over thinks practically everything. So, this has resulted in me staring at my ceiling fan at night while I should be sleeping, all the while my brain alternating between, "What did he mean when he said _____________" and "Wow, I really need to clean those fan blades......"

At what point does the dust stop sticking to the blades and start to fly off like mad bat-like dust bunnies? Oh, right, back to R and his maddening wedding talk: he teases that he already has a ring and knows exactly where and when he wants to ask me....blah blah blah. I know this is BS because he wouldn't tell me exactly. I will say that the 'when and where' would have been very romantic: on my dad's farm, there is a little natural pool set back deep in the woods. Every time it snows I go for a walk out to 'my spot' (when I'm home) and just sit there in the snow listening to the silence and taking in the beauty of the snow. I have never taken anyone out there, it's MINE.....I have a problem sharing. Well, last year it snowed beautifully on Christmas and I went to my spot. R was deployed to Afghanistan so I did something very uncharisteristic for me, I SHARED my spot. I took pictures with my phone and emailed them to him as a way of SHARING it with him. Anyway, he said that he was going to do it there when it snows. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...............

The other day we were driving somewhere, I don't remember where, and he started talking about weddings. I have no idea why!!!! But, he said he wanted a bigger one than his brother. So, naturally, I giggled and said, "Well you must not be planning to marry me." I got a dumbfounded look in return so I had to explain. "Sweetie, I have been married before, it's not appropriate for me to have a big wedding.......much less a white dress." and I get, "Why not?" He doesn't really understand southern etiquette. But then, my over thinking took over and I began to wonder......what is the true southern etiquette for a second wedding? The web world has been no help, so what is it?

I doubt that I'll ever need it, but at this point is has begun to bother me......WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?!?!?!?

Christmas Time is Here

2011-12-12T13:30:00.000-06:00

It looks like R and I will be spending Christmas at my sister's house this year. Someone in the army must have the Christmas spirit, because they granted him leave for the holidays but not before a bitter back and forth. I'm actually looking forward to it. Well, sortof.

It will be an interesting event. My parents have not spent a Christmas Eve in the same town since they got a divorce in 2004. But this year, they will both be there....in the same room......with eachother!!!!! I guess I always hoped that there would come a time when my parents would attempt to be civil to each other. I loved the scene in 4 Christmases when both of Reeses' parents were sitting in the living room together with their respective significant others talking and making an effort for their grand kids. This hasn't happened yet in my family; my niece is now six years-old. I hate to jinx it, but I am hoping beyond hope that this year we may turn a corner. We will see. Yeah, I'm not holding my breath.

I am looking forward to spending Christmas with a few of R's army buddies. They were either not granted leave to make the trip home, don't want to make the trip, or they don't have a family to go home to. There is no way that I could stand to let them spend Christmas alone in the dreary barracks....they are coming with us.....YAY FREE ENTERTAINMENT.......and probably another holiday that will end much like Thanksgiving.....with the boys like this:

See what I mean about the entertainment.

R has been insufferable since he finished his Christmas shopping. He has found it so very entertaining to walk up to me and just smile and say, "Done!" and walk away. I am not finished.

He has gone so far as to taunt me with what he has for me. He bought it/them and it/they is/are living in the trunk of his roommate's car. I do not do well with surprises, so obviously I have been begging for hints. The only one that he will give me drives me up the walls. It's one of the, maybe, three Christmas carols that I absolutely cannot stand.

Yes, I know that the carol 12 Day's of Christmas was a way of passing on the Christmas story in a sort of code, but there is just something about the tempo and the repetition, it just grates on my nerves.....and that is the only hint he will give me. He did not know the hatred that I hold for that song when he gave me the "hint" which has now come to madden me. WHAT THE CRAP IS IT!!!!! GAHHHHH!!!!!!

I am trying not to think about it. In the meantime I will attempt to think of happier things, like watching my favorite Christmas specials on tv........

I just LOVE Elf!

It makes me smile.

Gotta love Pinterest! That's where I found all the pictures but mine :)

W!!!!! T!!!!!! F!!!!!!!

2011-11-16T13:13:00.000-06:00

I am now officially beyond angry with the Army. It seems like we have been battling one thing after another with R's military life: potential buy-out, health record mix-ups, KOREA!!!!, we're already dealing with drama surrounding the next deployment, and now his holiday leave.

He had put in for 21 days. Not a big deal, he has something like three or four months of leave built up that he has to take before he deploys in less than a year. So, please, please, someone explain to me why they have decided to deny his leave. Oh, they are making him take another PT test? Oh, three in one month? WTF! That was their original excuse. He took a PT test and passed, so they make him take another one last week, and now they are making him take another one this week. GAWD!!!! They said they would break up the 21 days into 10 in November and 11 in December....Okay, fine.

Guess who got word this weekend that he was going to be forced to go to WLC (some sort of warrior leadership bullshit) and yes, his leave will be canceled. SERIOUSLY! He has been trying to fight it and now they are saying that he is on the walk on list and may not have to go, but they are still going to cancel his leave.

WTF! SERIOUSLY!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN HOW ANY OF THIS IS ACCEPTABLE!

Ladies and Gentlemen......I HATE THE ARMY! Don't get me wrong, I love R and this does not reflect my sentiments about our troops. I support them whole heartedly, but the army system is F-U-C-T!

My mantra was, "June 2013.......June 2013......June 2013......" His out day WAS June 3, 2013.

Oh, but wait...... they are making him sign at three month extension. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!

Poppies

2011-11-09T16:53:00.001-06:00

All through my childhood, when November rolled around it was not uncommon to find little paper or felt poppies being handed out in front of most chain stores (think Wal-Mart, Target, Kroger, etc.). But, as a child, I never bothered to read the tiny slips of paper that accompanied the fragile little flowers.

The other day I was perusing Cherry's website and saw where she had, so kindly, helped a friend fulfill a major poppy pin order. While reading her post, the Novembers of my childhood started to click. "So THAT was what those nice old men were handing out flowers for." I think in the back of my mind I knew that they were veterans, but, as a child I never put together that the flowers were a way to remember veterans for Veteran's Day.

So, knowing that there was no time to order a poppy pin, I decided to make one of my own. True, wearing a poppy pin is mostly a British tradition, but I love it.

Make one yourself, color red flower on a piece of paper and tape it to your shirt.......heck, use an earring to secure it to your shirt. Show your appreciation for our soldiers.

I'm spending a four-day weekend with my soldier....a veteran of three tours of duty, two in Afghanistan, one in Iraq, and will be completing one more tour next year.

We don't need to forget what all our veterans have given up for us, and what their families give up. Let's bring back the Poppy Pins........

Weekends and Summer

2011-10-10T14:28:00.000-05:00

I love Love LOVE when R has four-day weekends. The only thing that sucks about it, well things, is that I usually don't get those days off too, and I hate having to take him back to post. I wish I wasn't hoarding my vacation time for the holidays.

Since R has been hanging out at my place while I'm at work, I have been getting pictures like these....

That's just mean. He relaxes in bed snuggling with the puppies and watching tv while I work... *sigh*

We kicked off the "four-day" with a cookout with his buddies.....They wouldn't let me take any pictures of them, so this is all I got from that night..... Cigars have become a ritual before any celebratory event, you know, like the weekend....and very fitting that night. One of our friends and his wife just found out that they are going to have a baby. Congrats kids!

That night I noticed something about this group of men/boys (I call them my kids); yes, they are much younger than me (with the exception of R and a SGT), they are still much more mature and have less baggage than the guys I have dated that are my age and older. I love my "kids", they are good kids and I hate seeing them get hurt by stupid girls that just use them and drop them because they are military.

They are good kids and deserve to find good girls who will love them the way they deserve. I expected them all to just want something short-term...but that's not the case. They have all, at one time or another, asked me if I know any good girls. I am honest with them and tell them that all the girls I know of are looking for something that could possibly turn into a forever thing...they aren't just good-time girls. That's when their eyes light up with hope. They WANT to settle down. I think it's because they have nothing certain in their professional lives, and want a solid, loving home to come home to at the end of the day and a wife to love with all they have.

Anyway, I completely went on a tangent there. Sorry.

I have realized I have several pictures on my phone that I have neglected to post from the summer so here you go Lynn :)

Yep, so cute it makes my uterus hurt. R teaching my little cousin to skip rocks.....who knew a three year old could pick that up in one afternoon.

Oh, and am I the last person in the world to know about these?!?

R and I were at Walmart checking out the other day when I saw one of these that was open and not another anywhere around. I wanted it! Apparently he saw me looking at it kinda sad or something because he left me at the checkout and ran up and down the aisles looking for another one that hadn't been opened. He came back with a triumphant look on his face, put it with the rest of our groceries, and kissed me on the forehead. He's a doll, I think I'll keep him ;)

Countdown

2011-10-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

YAY! Korea is off the table!
Yeah so that probably made no sense at all. The backstory is that the army had decided to send R to Korea for the remainder of his contract (up June 5, 2013). He was set to leave next spring for Korea. Thankfully that is no long on the table. He went to the top two officers with "pull" and asked that the orders be canceled. They like him, and so they canceled them. I could kiss them both. I think it also had something to do with the fact that he is one of the only ones that knows his job that will be eligible to deploy the next time, and maybe that he has something like 77 leave days and will get a ton more with the new year, and with the transfer he would get more. So essentially he would get there and work for something like two or three months and, if he chose, he could "go on leave" for the rest of that 13 month assignment. He would still have to stay there most of the time, so it wouldn't be better for him to take it.

Sadly, he will still have to do another tour of duty. Beginning early fall of next year. I wasn't really sure why I was more in favor of Afghanistan over Korea...not until Friday. We found out that it would not be a full year's deployment! I have more time with him before he deploys again and it will be a shorter deployment. Thank GOD!

So, yeah I'm going to need something to keep me busy while he's gone. I need a new hobby. Hopefully everything will continue to go as planned and I will still be working on redecorating the new house and getting everything the way I want it.

I thought about taking up knitting.......not sure how the dogs will like that though.

One thing I want to do is put together a countdown. I have thought about several ideas........and I may go with the one that involves this little blog. Maybe a picture-a-day that he can check while he's gone and see what is going on at home.

I thought about a journal.......a page per day, but I like the idea of knowing exactly how many days I have to go.....a daily reminder; which I can't, for security reasons, do online......and I want something I can look every day when I wake up and go to sleep.

Most of the ideas I have seen will take up a LOT of room for the time frame I am looking at. I thought about crossing off a day on the calendar, but I want something to give me a little better idea of how long I am looking at.

I have a feeling I am going to go with a combination, just because it will give me something to fill my time.

I thought about something like the above, but really, can I be trusted to turn the number every day? and there is no exact time frame that the army gives......just months at first and they wait till the last minute to tell you the exact date.

Maybe something like this on a bulletin board?

This will give me something to do.

LIZ'S BOOK!

2011-09-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to say that Liz from Mabel's House has her book coming out soon! Like in a couple weeks.

I am dying to read it!

Here's a tiny preview for you and me! Hop over to amazon and order your copy today!

***

Once one has breathed in the deep pungent aroma of sewage, you never again forget the nose-hair singeing, eye clawing, throat gagging experience. It comes over you slowly. You begin to feel like a character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest as your muscles involuntarily jerk and you run screaming and blowing raspberries. Anything to get away from the mind-numbing stench.

But let me explain.

It was 6:30 a.m. I was standing in my retro pink tiled bathroom trying to open my bleary eyes and ready myself for work. As I stood there, peering into the mirror and wondering what demented nighttime fairy had planted four new wrinkles on my face, I paused and sniffed.

“Matt… what’s that smell?”

Matt staggered from the bedroom in his underwear, eyes half shut. “I don’t smell anything.”

I pointed my nose into the air like a hunting dog. “Seriously? You can’t smell that? Did you go to the bathroom in here earlier? I told you to use the room spray when you do things like that.”

Matt puffed out his bare chest and gathered his pride as best a man can with sleep in his eyes and a small hole in the side of his underwear. “I just woke up!”

I frowned, catching a glimpse of my makeup-less hot-rollers-in-hair state and tried not to think about the fact that I looked fifty instead of twenty-nine. “Well, help me figure this out. Because something smells ripe.”

We sniffed the sink drain and ruled it out as a suspect.

“Is it coming from the toilet?” Matt asked, examining it from top to bottom.

“No, that’s not it,” I snapped. I’m not known for my milk of human kindness in a disaster. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a survivor. I plan on eating my radish like Scarlet and clawing my way out of the nuclear dust while dragging my loved ones with me. But I won’t be doing it with positive phrases and a smile.

“Hon, I just don’t know. We’ll call a plumber after work, maybe it’s coming from under the house.” Matt staggered a little, trying to get past me and out of our tiny bathroom.

“Well, that’s just great,” I moved aside and pulled the shower curtain back so I could perch on the side of the tub and give Matt room to move out the door.

That’s when the full brunt of nastiness filled the air around us, a swirling mix of excrement and acrid stench that would have brought the sewer dwelling Ninja Turtles to their knees. Where the normally slightly-clean-with-a-hint-of-soap-scum bottom of the tub should have been, there sloshed gallons and gallons of brown sewage.

I clutched the front of my sweatshirt and held my breath. Matt began to dry heave.

“Get out and shut the door!” I screamed as we bumbled into the hallway.

“I’ll deal with this,” Matt grabbed my shoulders, trying to talk and hold his breath at the same time.

I could feel my eyes glaze over, the horrors of typhoid and hepatitis in our bathtub filling my mind. But more importantly, I could envision our evaporated savings account. In my mind’s eye I could see the long, gray hallway at the bank. A worker shrouded in a black suit pulled a set of keys from his pocket and unlatched a small locker labeled “Owen Bank Account.” Inside were two small stacks of quarters and a few crumpled dollar bills. It was bleak, not only because the banker with an unimaginative wardrobe gazed at me with an expression that could only be interpreted as “You’re a Big Fat Loser,” but also there was a very definite possibility we wouldn’t be able to pay for a plumber.

I wasn’t necessarily a spend thrift. In fact, I was downright frugal when it came to decorating with thrift store furniture and rewired vintage lamps. But the fact was, we were poor. We were starting out at starter jobs with starter salaries. We were starter adults with a starter bank account.

“Okay,” I nodded numbly, thankful that Matt was taking the lead on such a disastrous biohazard. “But make sure the plumber is super cheap. We don’t have much money!”

I left for work like a wino stumbling through a fog, not really remembering my commute, not really doing any work as I sipped my coffee and stared blankly at the computer screen. A disaster of such gargantuan proportions had previously been unthinkable in my life, and now I found myself attempting to push the image of a vast sea of bathtub poop from my mind. But I was sure of one thing: Anne Shirley never had to get ready for work while breathing raw sewage.

WTF Moment on my way to the office.......

2011-09-22T10:17:00.000-05:00

Much as the title suggests, I had a WTF moment this morning. I was in the elevator on my way up to the office when my phone went off. It was my stepmother; this in and of itself is not unusual....I usually get calls from her a couple times a week. The conversation that followed was not so usual.

She began with, "So, your dad and I have been thinking...."

Me: "Uh huh............?"

Stepmother: "We think you and (R) need to go ahead and get married."

Dead silence....I swear I almost fell over in the hallway.

Stepmommydearest: "What do you think?"

Me: "What?!? Why were you two talking about this?"

Stepmumsy: "Well since he might be sent to Korea in May, we think you need to go ahead and do it now. What do you think?

Me: "I think WE haven't even talked about it."

Stepfurer: "Well we think you need to talk about it and do it now."

Me: "Yeeeeaaaah, okaaaaay."

Stepmutha: "Oh, and we think (your stepsister) might be pregnant! I'm going to get a test and go over there in a little bit. I'll call you once we have the results. Love you! Bye."

OMG! REALLY?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

I stared at the phone in my hand wondering if that really just happened for a good two minutes. Have I just been sold into marriage by my dad and stepmother? Yes, they think he walks on water, and I'm pretty crazy about him myself.....but shouldn't he and I have this discussion?

He does off-handidly make comments about "our house" and "our kids" and stuff like that, but we haven't had the marriage talk or anything like that.

Apparently other people have had this same discussion about our relationship. I told two of my friends about it and come to find out....they had that same discussion and expect us to be married by May. WTF!

Okay, so the dog really has nothing to do with this other than his "WTF Face", courtesy of our dog....Batman (no I did not name him).

Hurricane Damage

2011-08-26T10:29:00.000-05:00

So aside from the slightly cooler temperatures for the next few days, we here in Central Time Zone aren't expected to get much from this massive Hurricane Irene......well except maybe me.

R told me last night that they may be sending him to Virginia for disaster relieve depending on how bad it gets. This means that there is a 50/50 chance that they will need some of Ft. Campbell's Flight Ops team (for what I can't imagine) and out of that team, he has a 4/6 chance of being sent for two weeks. I hate math...it makes my head hurt.

I was just trying to adjust to the fact that he will have to be in Tampa for 11 days in October for training, then 30 days in Louisiana for another training in January, then the ultimate (and God willing) his final deployment to Afghanistan for another year; he leaves September 2012.

I asked him and one of his buddies why they were sending just the two of them and a SGT to Tampa for 11 days for a training that had nothing to do with what they do, and his buddy said the most profoundly accurate statement I have heard about the army, "Have you met the army? They don't do anything that makes any sense, ever."

This statement covers all the questions that I have about why the army does pretty much everything they do, including sending our flight ops guys (who do desk work) into Irene's path.

Bibliofail

2011-08-24T10:25:00.001-05:00

What happens when a bibliophile no longer has time to read?

Well, that is when she discovers the answer to her prayers.......DailyLit.com.

Yes, sadly, there aren't enough hours in the day to work a full time job, commute an hour each way, feed myself and my dogs, handle best friend crisis, spend time with the boyfriend, and sleep, much less read. In truth, I may as well have already given up sleeping....

I discovered Daily Lit a while back. This little gem lets you select the book you want to read from their database, then they send you snippets to your email daily so you can read when you want/can.

So far I have read Madam Bovary, Villette, and several others. I am currently working on The Beautiful and the Damned.

So, all the books that I have yet to read keep sitting on my bookshelves collecting dust, and my Kindle is still crammed with tons that I still haven't read yet. One of these days I will make it back to my babies......there is nothing like the smell of a book, and I do miss sitting for hours reading.

Also.....a wonderful blogger named Liz will have a book released in October. I have had the pleasure of reading some of her other works and they are awesome. I can't wait to buy her book!

Feeling Adrift

2011-08-17T09:34:00.003-05:00

It has almost been a year now. On the 27th of August, 2010....maybe 3:40ish in the afternoon, I got a call from a very dear friend, ok, one of my best friends. Thus far, her pregnancy had been wrought with high blood pressure and and other various issues....but I pray I never get another call like that one. All she said was that something was wrong and she needed to go to the hospital. I rushed her to the ER where it wasn't long before they took us up to the maternity wing. Unfortunately it took forever for the doctor to see us; he was delivering another baby. We almost lost them both.

I never got to play with her sweet baby girl.

Now, with that horrible anniversary approaching, I don't know what to do. I want to be there for her in every way I can, but what do I do? I know she is retreating into a dark place, and we are trying to pull her back. Dinner plans and movie plans have been made for next week, but I feel like I should do more. I am fairly certain that her dear BF will be with her on the actual anniversary; at least he better be. I'm so afraid of doing something that will make it worse for her. What is appropriate for that situation?

Next Saturday will be a dark one indeed. Please say a prayer for my dear friend Amy.

She's Moving :(

2011-07-15T11:02:00.002-05:00

A couple months ago I was on Facebook (shocker!) and a got a shock (hehe). One of my best friends from high school posted that she was moving..........to JAPAN!

Now back in the day, she and I were very close. We were in guard together and we were often mistaken for sisters because we were always together and we sort of looked alike. I was MUCH skinnier back then.
After she graduated (a year ahead of me) she joined the Navy. I thought it was odd too....come on, we lived in Kentucky! The nearest ocean is six hours away. Oh well. While she was in the Navy she met the love of her life; we'll call him A. They got married and lived happily ever after....they even made K. Okay, Katie. This has to be one of the most well mannered two-year-olds I have ever met.

Okay, back to Japan. I had dinner with Dusti and Katie and Dusti's dad last night because she is leaving the country next week. I, being the nosey person that I am, had to ask how this all came about. The last thing I had heard was that A was getting out of the Navy too and they would live the civilian life together. So she told me the story. A was going through all his reintegration stuff, you know, to adjust to civilian life again, and they were giving him a hard time about going into the reserves to finish out his contract. So, he did what every macho man does when he feels like he's being picked on about his life choices, he changed them. He went to his commanding officer and asked what orders he could take. Apparently this was all they needed him to say because they offered him a higher rank and a station in Japan. ~ Now, for those of you who don't know, a post in Japan is coveted.....coveted! not only by Navy but Army and I'm guessing all other service members.~ So he took it without discussing it with his darling wife. She was sitting in the pharmacy waiting to get a prescription filled when she got a text that simply read, "Japan?"

I have to say that I am completely jealous. I would love to live in Japan and immerse myself in their culture and eat all the sushi I can stand. Hell, they have McDonald's and Burger King......It can totally be done. She has always wanted to go, and tried to get posted there herself when she was still in the Navy.

I'm going to miss her, but I am looking forward to all the wonderful pictures that she swore to send me.

Birthdays......BLAH!

2011-06-21T14:35:00.001-05:00

Unless this is what is going to happen, I am just going to skip this birthday.......Yeah, I would rather hold my current standing. I'm skipping it.

WTF Moments

2011-06-20T23:10:00.000-05:00

An honest-to-God recent conversation with my darling father.....

Daddy: So, do you want (your grandmother's) bedroom set?

Me: I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I don't have room for it right now. Maybe when I buy a house....

Father: Okay, I just didn't know what all R would be bringing when you move.

Me: *Horrified WTF stare*

Bombshell dropping man that I no longer recognize: What? *with a genuine look of surprise*

Me: WE'RE NOT MOVING IN TOGETHER!

Unknown man wearing my father's clothes obviously enjoying making me uncomfortable: It's just a matter of time. I like him.

At this point he got up and walked in the kitchen leaving me staring at the empty spot on the couch where he was sitting.

SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!!?!?!? W! T! F!

Pretty Much

2011-06-16T13:23:00.001-05:00

Pretty much sums up where I am today........

WTF Moment, but kinda funny

2011-06-14T09:09:00.010-05:00

So, a couple weeks ago I get a text from R that says, "Sorry I haven't texted earlier....I've been in the ER. Had to get stitches."

WTF!

Yeah, not a happy camper....they gave him no pain killers and he had a concussion. This was on Org Day. Now I don't really know what the Hell that is, but from what I can understand it is a day when the different units put together teams and they play every sport imaginable and compete for some kind of trophy or award or something.......... I think.

Well, they were playing baseball and R was covering home plate when the shortstop hummed the ball at him. He stopped the ball.....with his eye. BAHHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

(side note.....he has such pretty eyes, IMHO)

I know! I'm a horrible person but it's hilarious in that his buddies (all who work in flight ops) had to take him to the ER because the MedEvac team THEY WERE PLAYING DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

You can't make this shit up!

See....even his/our dog thinks this is hilarious......

Cooper, my baby, not so much......

Random Moments

2011-06-13T10:25:00.004-05:00

Another moment from this past weekend.... Not a WTF moment, but maybe a gag-inducing moment....

A friend of ours plays women's semi-pro football, and they had an end-of-the-season party at her house. Soooo many WTF moments happened there...... anyway.

It was well after midnight when we all decided we were brave enough to get in the pool. R pulls his shirt off and one of his buddies (who is probably still drunk from that night) squints in the darkness at him and says, "Dude! You wear your dog tags all the time?!?!?"

That's when I noticed it. It was the medal of St. Michael I sent him while he was deployed last. Apparently he wears it all the time. Now I have seen R wear it, but I guess I just thought he wore it when he knew I would notice it.....

Another one of his buddies chimed in, "Hell, he doesn't even wear those around his neck when we're deployed. That's St. Michael, he never takes it off."

Drunken David, "You're Catholic?"

"No," then he kissed my forehead and jumped in the pool.

St. Michael, the warrior, is one of the protectors of soldiers. Michael also happens to be his middle name.

2011-06-13T09:28:00.004-05:00

So, yeah, I'm strange.
I also tend to think about things WAAAAY too much.
Well this happened to me again this weekend.....soooooo many times.

I decided that I just couldn't take my hair anymore. R needed a haircut anyway since the army says his hair can't stick out from under his uniform hat and it was getting a little too long. So, when we pulled into the parking lot where he gets his hair cut I had decided to get mine cut too.

Perky little girl at the desk: Hi! (way too enthusiastically), will you both be getting haircuts today?

R and I: Just Me/ Yes both

R looks at me sideways.... Maybe I should have warned him....

PLG@Desk: What's your name Mam?

Me: (resists the urge to jump across the desk and strangle her and mentally hissing, "I'm not that much older than you bitch!") Holly B.....

PLG: and this must be Mr. B......

Me: No

this goes on for about five-mindnumbing-minutes of formalities.

Frighteningly they were able to get us both in the chairs at the same time, immediately. As the PLG is cutting my swoop bangs WAY too short she asks, "So, he's your..........what?"

Me: Um....my.......boyfriend.....

R, who is within hearing distance, looks at me like I'm sprouting a second nose. I later found out that it was due to the hesitance in my response.

That moment made me think of the first Sex in the City movie....she had a similar moment as they were apartment hunting.

But what do I call someone who is, by all definitions from my teenage years, my boyfriend; but now I'm pushing 30 and it just doesn't seem to fit, so what do you call your significant other? 'Significant Other' sounds a little too grown-up....almost like I'm a 60 year-old with her amorous senior citizen lover.

'Lover' sounds European and dirty at the same time.....that sounds both repetitive and redundant.

'Lover' reminds me of the word 'fiance'....I hate that word....it sounds so pretentious.......

This, sadly, was just one of the WTF Moments that I had this weekend.......

2011-05-27T12:02:00.002-05:00

My heroes don't wear capes;

they don't wear underpants on top of tights.

My heroes wear camo and dogtags.

Happy Memorial Day!

Be sure to show our soldiers your appreciaation for all they do.

Chocolate Hell

2011-05-26T15:36:00.005-05:00

Why is it that I am finding it difficult to choke down four pieces of Godiva? Seriously?!?!?!?! I am a single 27-year-old-about-to-be-28-year-old woman who lives alone with two spoiled dogs....shouldn't chocolate and a bottle of wine be a standard dinner on any given night?

But here I am, trying to force myself to eat these chocolates. I bought them a week ago at the airport before I flew to Harrisburg, PA for a wedding. I couldn't not get them.....the Godiva store was right beside my gate, literally. Then things got crazy....my computer flipped out as I was working on a report for work, the plane went through massive turbulence, the flight was late getting in to the layover point, running through the Charlotte airport to catch a flight, meeting the family at the airport, meeting the rest of the family at the house, and finally sending in my report as I fell into the bed asleep. So, yeah, the little box got shoved to the bottom of my carry-on and forgotten about. Now, I just don't want it. I must be getting old, it's too sweet tasting.

Anyway, it has seriously been an effort to get out of bed since I have been back. it sucks that I have to get up and leave three snoring, spoiled, creatures in my nice warm bed. It makes me resent them just a little. I almost wish I could elbow them in the ribs and yell at them before I leave just to make me feel better. No, I wouldn't do that, but the thought has crossed my mind a few hundred times as I groggily drive to work because they kept me up till after midnight yet again. I know I should enjoy it.....I have to take the biggest, snoring, spoiled, bed-hogging creature back to the army post tonight to sign back in from leave. I think it's pretty stupid seeing as they have a four-day weekend anyway, but then again, army logic makes no sense to me AT ALL.

Anyway, we're going camping this weekend. Hell, it's Memorial Day, that's what your supposed to do, right? We will be spending the weekend in a primitive (read no water, no electricity) campground in a two-man tent with two dogs next to our friends with a four-man tent and a Great Dane on a weekend that is supposed to be hot as balls. Forget makeup this weekend. I have a feeling I will either be coming back sans boyfriend or with a ton of funny stories. We'll see......

Flying

2011-05-20T00:52:00.002-05:00

I love flying, especially at night.....

The higher you climb the more the city lights look like tiny stars. But the best part, in my opinion, is when you look out the window and you see the stars above you and what looks like stars below.

It's almost a magical scene.

2011-05-12T10:14:00.000-05:00

Nature forms us for ourselves, not for others; to be, not to seem.

~ Anais Nin

Reset Button

2011-04-20T14:05:00.004-05:00

I was driving through Clarksville the other night and I got to thinking.......I have changed everything in my life. Five years ago my life was very different from what it is now. Even my car. I had joked off and on that once I totaled my Honda I was going to get a smaller car. I never expected to actually total my car. But then again, the car was the last thing I had left from my marriage; except for Cooper, he doesn't count because he's more like my child.

I quit a job that made me crazy; I moved; then moved again; I moved on with my personal life; I made mistakes; I went on vacations that I actually enjoyed; I am leaving a job that I really like for one that I have been dreaming about for years; I'm writing again; I'm making an offer on a house; I'm moving to a different state............everything has changed.

I shared this random trail of thoughts with my passenger as we drove in the dark. He sat for a second and said, "It's like you have pressed a reset button on your life. It's a good thing."

And he's right. I have had several people around me say that I seem happier than they have seen me in years, and some that say they have never seen me this happy.

I'm actually pretty scared of that prospect. Every time I am happy, the bottom falls out. So that's what I'm doing.....waiting for the bottom to fall out. My best friend said that the bottom has already fallen out and it can only go up from here. I hope she's right.

Worry

2011-02-17T19:07:00.004-06:00

I worry. My mind is normally filled with hundreds of different scenerios of things that could go wrong and explode in my face.

I worry when I leave my sweet baby dog, Cooper, with anyone for a night....much less two.

I worry when I take the last of the coffee at work that the fresh pot won't be ready when the next person walks in to get some.

I worry that I'll forget someone's birthday.....yes Lynn, that one is for you.

I worry I won't live up to other's expectations of me.

I worry I won't live up to my own expectations.

I worry that I'll accidently offend someone.

Then there is the superficial......

I worry that I missed a piece of hair in the back while I was fixing it.

I worry that my forehead will be shiny.

I worry that I'll have that stray pimple pop up at the most inopportune minute.

I worry that my breath smells.

I worry I've put on weight, or that the outfit I have on will look like I have.

But right now my fear ranges toward something a little more immediate. Tomorrow night is when my friend's flight is supposed to be in. The only problem is that there hasn't been any communication since he got on his first flight out of Kandahar. I'm supposed to get a call from one of his commanding officers letting me know when to expect the flight, but that could be less than 12 hours before they land!

Right now, I'm worried that I'll be the idiot standing on the tarmac and it won't be his flight! And to top all of that off, I'm helping the gym teacher at the school where I teach tomorrow by covering his classes. I just know that by the end of the day, I'll have a black eye or something along those lines.

I am a worrier of champion standing. If worrying were an olympic sport, I would be sure to win gold.....or at least a respectable silver.

2011-02-10T15:08:00.003-06:00

It snowed, It snowed

It snowed last night

Everything is sparkling with diamond light

The road is burried

It's four feet hight

Honey let's play hooky

'Cause it snowed last night

It snowed, It snowed

It snowed last night

Get your hat and coat and bundle up real tight

Hitch up that sled and we'll take a ride

Everybody's happy

'Cause it snowed last night

How merry, how bright

The snow fall turns the world into a lovely sight

It snowed, It snowed

It snowed last night

Honey let's play hooky

'Cause it snowed last night

And when the sun dips out of sight

We'll cozy up together by the fireside

And just before we close our eyes

We'll wish upon a star it snows again tonight

Wish upon a star it snows again tonight

~Meaghan Smith

It Snowed

2011-02-09T09:47:00.007-06:00

It's snowing again outside. As a teacher I enjoy the snow, but at the same time that's less time we have to prepare the students for testing; but, right now, it feels good just lying around for a change. My emotions have run extreemly high in the last two weeks and I really needed a break to breath and center myself.

I don't exactly have a long time to do this. One of my best friends, whom I care about deeply, has been deployed to Kandahar for the past year will be coming home next week. A few days ago he sent me a message asking me to meet his plane at the homecoming ceremony. You can't say no to something like that. Like I said, he's one of my best friends and I care about him deeply, but his family lives two states away.....there is no way that I'm going to let him be alone when he comes home to the states after spending a year fighting for our freedom.

So, that started a new obsession. What do you wear to a homecoming like that? I've never been to something like that. My sister has, but it was her husband coming home and she wore his favorite outfit. I did the only thing I could think of......I texted a friend of mine whose husband is in the same company. She has excellent style and is all around awesome! She was a little more excited about me going and just told me to wear jeans, then sent me all the information that the army sent the wives LOL. I now have a lot of reading to do.

I decided to go online for help. After lots of consideration I decided to go with, as Mrs. Awesome suggested, dark jeans. I have a bright red coat (it has been freaking cold in Kentucky with lots of snow this winter, which I LOVE) - so I'll be fairly easy to pick out, and my favorite black shirt. What shoes do you wear with a red coat? Red shoes!

I LOVE ETSY! I found these amazing vintage red satin YSL heels for a killer deal. I explained the situation to the seller, Meredith, who said she would send them out ASAP.....she's the best!

He's the one who sent me this for my birthday......which I took on vacation :) . I have read so many books on my little baby. I adored Eat Pray Love which I read on that vacation and found so many parallels to my own life. It was exactly what I needed to read at that time in my life. I have now started on the Sookie Stackhouse series, you know.....True Blood. I'm on the third book and I am totally hooked! He knows me so well, and we have only ever been in the same room together twice in the two years since we met.

2011-02-07T18:57:00.000-06:00

Truth begins in lies.
~House

2010-12-12T12:28:00.002-06:00

This has been the most perfect Sunday morning I can remember. It began snowing last night, and thankfully hasn't stopped.

Snow has halted my little world. I couldn't go anywhere if I wanted to as the roads are snowed in and my car is frozen solid. So, I did what felt like the right thing to do: I made a pot of coffee, crawled back in bed, and listened to the lulling sounds of sleep next to me while I caught up on my blog reading and watched the snow continue to fall outside the bedroom window.

So, as far as I'm concerned, this is the recipe for a perfect lazy morning:
One pot of coffee
Four inches of falling snow
One warm bed
One large bedroom window
15 blogs
One blog post
and four somniloquy conversations with the person next to me.

I am a happy girl.

2010-09-26T16:55:00.003-05:00

This has been my favorite scent since I found it. And while I adore the scent, what speaks to me most is what is written on the back.

It says:

When it comes to love you need not fall but rather surrender. Surrender to the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another. You must absolutely trust yourself before you can absolutely trust another, and most importantly, you must accept your flaws before you can accept the flaws of another.

I needed a break......

2010-07-27T19:35:00.005-05:00

Not long ago, my best friend said that I looked like my head was going to explode if I didn't take a break. Her remedy was to take a vacation. So, we went to Hilton Head Island for a week. She was right.

This was the perfect place for some soul searching

Don't worry, he went back in the ocean after the pictures.

Back with a Wedding

2010-06-10T23:46:00.008-05:00

I finally broke down and bought a new camera. It's not a nice big camera like I wanted, but I was able to part with the money for a smaller one that I can just throw in my bag and take with me anywhere.

My dear friend and co-worker, Lynn, got married this weekend. As a bridesmaid I didn't get to get many pictures, but I have been pleased with what I got.

Lynn, starting to get freaked out.

It took a while to get her in her dress.

Then, wouldn't you know it, she had to go to the bathroom.

Goofing off with the Matron of Honor, Leslie....who also happened to be the photographer.....well her husband and mother took the ceremony pictures.

Leslie proving that a good photographer will do whatever it takes to get the perfect shot. Then we were on the way to the after-party.......

Snow Day

2010-02-09T09:47:00.010-06:00

I love snow! This has been a wonderful year so far. Some people would beg to differ with me on this point, but we have had three pretty substantial snows thus far (which is much more than we usually have this time of year in Kentucky).

I got a call from the office this morning saying that while all the city agencies were shut down, where I work was still open but if I didn't think I could make it in I could take a vacation day. Truth be told, I probably could have made it in, but when I looked out my window and saw this.......
well let's just say I couldn't pass up the vacation day.

For me the snow is so inspiring. I love the sparkle and the pure diamond white. It makes me want to re-decorate my apartment; guess it's a good thing that all my walls are white.

I bundled Cooper up in his sweater and we played outside for a couple hours.

He loves the snow almost as much as I do.

Cooper and I are now snuggled in loads of blankets and pillows being lazy and getting warm again while we listen to It Snowed by Meaghan Smith. I just love that song and it is so true today. I can't wait to go back out for round two in the snow.

For everyone who is having a snow day like we are, enjoy and be safe.

Sorry for the poor quality of the pictures. I still haven't brought myself to part with the money for a new camera, so these were taken with my phone.

One down.......

2010-01-17T18:14:00.005-06:00

One of the goals that I had for myself in 2010 was to create an office space in the spare room of my apartment. Well, I have done that......mostly, and for a very small price. I have cleaned out the room that was littered with boxes from Christmas gifts and did a little reorganizing and a lot of purging. I bought a very cheap buffet table and chair from a local discount store and made my office. I still have some work to do on it, but Cooper now has a secluded little corner of my office that he calls his own......though right now my lap seems to be serving that purpose as he rests his chin on my arm as I type. I am still waiting on the shelving units that my mom has for me as well as my armchair that is still in storage. Hopefully I will be able to get those in and finish finish. I hope to have a new camera by then as mine has decided it doesn't want to work anymore.

I have really been thinking about one of the other goals that I set...... "Live Passionately." What exactly does that mean? I watched several people over the last year that I think exemplify that to see what it is about these people that gives off the aura that they truly live passionately? One such individual makes my mouth water every Saturday morning when I finally roll out of bed. Nigella Lawson's cooking show on FoodTV comes on just a bit to early for me on Saturdays, and so my trusty dvr wakes up for me so I can enjoy Nigella with a cup of coffee or hot tea around nine or ten.*Photo - Telegraph

I love watching Nigella Lawson cook. She is very unapologetic in her love for food and family. And isn't that the way it is supposed to be? I love to watch her busy herself around the kitchen and the occasional grocery story and explain in the most wistful terms and adjectives her rapture for whatever it is that she is cooking. I must admit, she has a way with words that makes me want to cook more. Sadly, I am not a great cook. I love it, but I'm not great at it.

So, here's to Nigella....the lusty and passionate cook with a wonderful way with words.

*Photo - Brisbane Times

In 2010......

2010-01-10T16:06:00.002-06:00

I am probably the worst person in the world when it comes to keeping resolutions. I know that thousands of people have that very same sentiment, and I suppose that I am no different. Last year I resolved not to make any resolutions, and that was the first time I have never kept my resolution.

So, after much consideration, I have decided to not make resolutions for 2010, but just some things to live by. First, I have decided that I have to create an office out of the spare room in my little apartment. I read somewhere that you should create what you most need, don't look for it somewhere else, look inside and create it yourself. I will be trying to do just that this year. I have put my book on the back-burner for the past six months, and I shouldn't have. By creating an office for myself, I will be creating a space dedicated to my book; I think that's what I need to get back on track.

There are several other things that I will do. This year I will:
*Wear lipstick more often;
*Wear more necklaces and bracelets;
*Do something everyday for me;
*Buy flowers;
*Write with colored ink pens, because they make me happy;
*Live my live passionately.

But most importantly, I will dedicate more time to Cooper because he is exceptional.

2009-08-18T20:50:00.003-05:00

In the last several months my life has been turned upside down, and not in a good way.

Life seems to have a way of throwing things at you that you never imagined.

People die, friendships crumble, marriages end, and the people that you once trusted are the first to stab you in the back.

As humans we make mistakes, true, but somethings you can't forgive or forget though you may try forever. All you can do is make sure that you can live with yourself and your decisions; because, in the end, you are the only person that you have to live with.

*Don't remember where I got the pic. Sorry

2009-04-18T10:32:00.003-05:00

"There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them." ~Sylvia Plath

I do.

2009-04-01T16:08:00.003-05:00

This is Chris (and his two sweet dogs)....he is the office newbie. Not really any more, but we pick on him like he still is.

We love April Fools around here and we usually focus all of our attention on one person, it's more fun that way.

This year it was Chris, again. Chris is a sweetie; he handles all of our home-occupation applications.

We couldn't resist what we did. One of the secretaries had her friend call him several times today expressing how enamored she was with him when he helped her with her application and how she would miss seeing his sexy face.

He's totally pissed....and we know he knows it was us. It's so much fun!

Mom's Birthday

2009-04-01T14:26:00.006-05:00

My mother's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, but we weren't able to go see her until this past weekend. These are a couple of pics that I got when we went out for lunch.

Mom and her boyfriend

Maddi under the table

Darci, Me, and Maddi

This is my favorite picture of Maddi. She took it herself.

We went again....

2009-03-27T10:32:00.014-05:00

We went again. This time it was in Nashville....

I think more than anything we just needed to get away.

Cooper came to work with me......

2009-03-13T11:14:00.001-05:00

As you can see from his excitement, my job is riveting!

Fireflies

2009-02-20T16:33:00.005-06:00

I was flipping through some old cds today and found one that I hadn't heard in years. It was a mix cd that I had burned a long time ago. I put it on and remembered how much I love it. The first song was always my favorite: Lori Mckenna - Fireflies. From what I can sing in my head, I believe these are the lyrics:

Before you met me I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
And before you knew me I'd traveled 'round the world
And I slept in castles
And fell in love
Because I was taught to dream

I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture Tinkerbell
And they were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But I could always tell

Cause I believe in fairytales
And dreamer's dreams
Like bedsheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan
And miracles, anything I can to get by
And fireflies

Now before I grew up I saw you on a cloud
And I could bless myself in your name
And pat you on your wings
And before I grew up I heard you whisper so loud
Well life is hard and so is love
Child, believe in all these things

I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture Tinkerbell
And they were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But I could always tell

Cause I believe in fairytales
And dreamer's dreams
Like bedsheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan
And miracles, anything I can to get by

Obviously you'll have to search for the lyrics to get the right and full lyrics.

As I sang along with they lyrics, it made me thing of the lovely Miss V over a A Fanciful Twist. Miss V is so gorgeous and she has such a lovely blog. Her pics are simply magical. If you haven't visited her blog yet, go....you won't regret it.

Now, go, shoo

Storm

2009-02-10T08:27:00.005-06:00

I believe that there are four basic types of people, each of whom can be identified by the way that they act during a storm: the paranoid and fretful - the ones that run ducking for cover at the first light gray cloud in the sky; the prepared but cautious - the ones who has supplies ready and a plan, and runs when the wind begins to howl; the level-headed - those who know what to do, but refuse to run till there is a serious threat; and the brazen fool - those who stand in the yard watching for the storm to make a believer out of them as the lightning singes the ground beside them.

I'm sitting here worrying and waiting. B hasn't called yet with the results of the "bump" conference call. We know our options for all scenarios but one. If nothing happens he'll be ecstatic, but the cautious side of me knows that this could happen again next week. If he gets "bumped" he could "bump" the guy 30 miles down the road, if he's still there, and there's still the threat of "next time." If B gets "bumped" and the other guy is gone, so are we.

I'm scared.....but I'm not sure which scenario I'm more afraid of. B still refuses to admit that there is any danger, but I know better, I can see it in his eyes. I'm the one making plans and peaking around corners listening for the wind, while B is standing in the yard waiting to feel the lightning.

Photos from weathersavvy.com

Happy Place

2009-02-09T16:14:00.004-06:00

I’m just not really feeling much of anything today. I don’t feel bad, I just feel stifled. Less than five minutes after I got to work this morning, one of my clients had already pushed me almost to my breaking point. I’m really not a people person. I also need creativity…..I am starved for it.

The starvation combined with the waiting is about to destroy me. B got the first of two calls the other day. This call was to tell him that he had to participate in the conference call that would bump someone……B is on the list of potential “bumpees.” I guess that’s the correct terminology. I have to continue to wait until around lunch tomorrow, when the conference call is over, to know our fate.

It has been a lovely couple of days, but I can’t really enjoy them. How are you supposed to enjoy something, or be productive when you have crap like this on your mind? I’m stuck in limbo wondering which direction I’ll have to go next.

I have resorted to closing my eyes and picturing where I would like to be…..

….I am standing on the a cliff of on one of the Aran Islands (I don’t really care which one) in Ireland overlooking the ocean….
The sound of the waves crashing is the only thing that I can hear….

The ocean breeze is cool, almost cold against my face, and ruffles my hair….

The brine of the ocean air mixes with the cold smell of the air……….yes, that is my happy place. A place where there are still stone fences and clean air, and they still speak their native Irish…ahhhhhhhhh. I can breath again. I haven’t been there yet, but I will.....one day.

I have had these pictures on my computer for so long....I honestly can't remember where they came from....I apologize.

Snow Day!

2009-01-28T08:22:00.019-06:00

Within the course of 48 hours, our little area was bombarded with lots of ice, and a smattering of snow…..not as much as I would like, but snow nonetheless.

Yesterday, I did go to work in spite of all the ice. I am lucky enough to have a co-worker who lives just down the road with a big truck (it doesn’t hurt that he grew-up in up-state New York either). We got there and there was no power for a couple of hours. We eventually got up and running, but they closed the building around 3:30 just to be safe.

As the evening went on, the ice got worse, we lost power, and the cell towers are constantly going down. As I tried to sleep, I kept hearing transformers pop and trees snap and fall. I swear, B can sleep through anything!

B got up this morning to go to work and woke me up; I’m so glad that he did. The world outside our door was not only covered in quite a bit of ice, but a nice little blanket of snow. I love snow. I still don’t know if the office is closed today. My friend decided to go in to the office just in case the office was not shut down ~ I decided to spend the day playing in the snow with Cooper. These are some of the pictures that I got on our morning walk.

As you can see, we did suffer a few losses as far as our trees go. A few snapped branches out of the Magnolia tree, and the Cedar above is to far gone now. Actually, that's a relief for me. I never really liked this tree; I can't wait to plant a nice flowering tree in it's place come spring.

Cooper got cold, so I finished the walk on my own. I saw these two children playing on the ice-covered street. They were laughing and having such a good time that I could have watched them for an hour.

I finally got a little chilled and decided to head back to the house and a steaming cup of tea. I took a shortcut back to our house. There is a break in our neighbor's fence that I take from time to time. Today it almost felt like walking through the wardrobe into my own personal Narnia.

Everyone gets so stressed and upset about when winter weather comes through that they don't take the time to appreciate how beautiful it really is. This is the kind of weather that forces you to stop everything. You have to stop all the rushing, the running, the stressing, and everything and just be in the moment. Man can't create this, and it really makes you feel so small in comparison. It's wonderful. That's why I love snow days.

The snow seems to have stopped for now, but hopefully not for long.

LUSH!

2009-01-22T13:09:00.011-06:00

Tell me that you have heard of LUSH! Lie to me if you haven’t. I LOVE LUSH. For the non-LUSHies out there, LUSH is a company that produces bath and beauty products that are 100% vegetarian, hand made, and NEVER tested on animals (yet another reason that I love them).

Unfortunately, there no LUSH stores within a drivable distance for me to frequent, so I have to make stockpiling purchases online to last for a while. I just made another purchase recently and I am checking the shipping progress constantly. Maybe we should buy stock in LUSH…hmmmm.

My sister-in-law got me hooked on LUSH a couple of years ago. She got the American Cream solid perfume about a year ago and loves it. She smells so good and it has lasted a really long time…these facts prompted me to purchase some for myself.

Smitten was the first addiction that I had to LUSH. Oh my goodness. It is the best hand lotion that you will ever try. I just wish it came in a bigger container. Oh, and their lip balm Let Them Eat Cake is sooooo good.

And their massage bars are not to be missed. I was a little wary of them at first, but they are wonderful. I keep three or four at a time. I love Mange Too, Each Peach (and Two’s a Pair), I have Glitterbug (I’m not crazy about the glitter, but it smells nice), and Shimmy Shimmy which is another glittery one, but the glitter is less obtrusive and it smells great! I use the first two as moisturizers and they are fabulous.

Mange Too Massage Bar

I highly encourage you to try some…….their bath bombs and bubble bars are a good place to start.

The Comforter Bubble Bar, one of my favs

What Do I Want

2009-01-15T16:12:00.004-06:00

I watched the movie The Women recently (GREAT MOVIE btw) and it has, among other things, a great message, and an even better cast of truly great actresses. It really had me thinking about a lot of things…..

First, how adorable is Meg Ryan’s hair? It makes me want to grow mine back out and get a perm…..yes, I am fully aware that perms are almost always a bad idea.

However, most importantly it really hit home when Bette Midler ask Meg Ryan's character what she wanted. Meg’s character had to really think about that…..and so do I.

The mayor, for the city that I work for, has said publicly that there will be layoffs from almost every department. That doesn’t bode well for me. Last night B told me that they would be doing me a favor if I did get laid-off. At first I looked at him in horror that he would even suggest such a thing, until I realized that he was right. B seems to have escaped from the “surplus” for this round, and I really have not found my calling.

I have to do what Meg’s character did…. .I have to find what I truly want. So I am starting my own bulletin board, maybe it will help me figure out what I really want before I really need to know.

Cooper's Christmas and Stuff

2009-01-09T08:53:00.009-06:00

Life has not been serene or peaceful around her lately. Christmas was wonderful, chaotic and stressful, but I loved it. I just wish that I could have made it seem longer somehow. It feels like when I start to feel Christmas, it’s gone in a flash. Here are some of our Christmas pictures...well, Cooper's Christmas, and then I’ll get on to the rest of the post…..

And New Years……….

Okay, now that that is over, I have to say that I am very glad that no one that knows me personally even knows about this blog. I don’t want to tell anyone about any of this, but somehow, putting it out there gets it off my chest. I don’t want my family or friends to know, not yet. There is a very good chance that B could be “surplused” very soon. That’s the term that they use. It doesn’t sound that bad, but it is. Ever since the company that B works for got bought by a multi-billion dollar conglomeration, said conglomeration has made it very clear that they are going to do whatever they feel like doing….including “surplussing” their entire workforce it seems. B is part of a union whose contract comes up for renewal in August. As has been said, it’s not a matter of “if” they go on strike, but “for how long,” and will conglomo just decide to let them all go and say ‘f*** you!’

B finally talked to me about it last night. He doesn’t talk about these things unless there is a real threat that could directly and brutally impact our lives. We are both acutely aware that my meager salary is not enough to support us, pay our bills, mortgage, student loan payments, and buy groceries. I think this is why B doesn’t want to talk to me about things like this….because he knows that I’m okay with where I am. I am a Community Development Planner, did I ever tell you that? I’m not sure…..oh well. The city that I work for, like so many other cities, is facing an economic pinch. This is no surprise, but it was a surprise when my boss started mentioning that they will not be replacing people when they leave (but no one was loosing their jobs, yet) because we just don’t have the money to support the salaries, which means no pay raises. This poses a problem.

I don’t LOVE my job, but I don’t hate it. I’m at a point where I can see my personal and professional growth and appreciate it. I’ll also have finished my MPA in a couple of semesters. But last night, B asked if I would be willing to leave if we needed to. That’s when the red flags started going up. B doesn’t talk like that, EVER.

We both know that I’m out of my element in my job, but there is nothing around here that would even remotely correspond with my education and passions. B asked if I would be willing to look for a job where, if need be, I could make more than I’m making now. The truth is that I was looking months ago, but I gave up because he makes much more than I do and there was nada around us; now he’s saying there may not be proximity restrictions.

I have been fighting back tears, but I don’t know really why. I know that he and I will be together, and let’s face it, we’re not going anywhere without Cooper. I’m not crazy about my job, but I have grown attached to many of my co-workers. If we have no choice, that’s going to suck. But I think what hurts most is the idea of leaving our home. Blah blah blah, home is where you make it, blah blah, yeah I know, but we have literally put our blood, sweat, and tears into renovating this house. Maybe we could rent it out? That’s a thought.

I’m sure that I’m worrying for nothing, but sometimes I would rather be worried now rather than be hit by surprise later. It’s kind of my own sick twisted version of better safe than sorry.

Feeling Christmas

2008-12-16T09:25:00.011-06:00

I am a huge fan of this time of year. I truly look forward to December all year long. That's why, when B proposed, I wanted to have a Christmas themed wedding. Today is my anniversary.....two years, but that's not what I wanted to post about today.

I haven't been able to 'feel' Christmas yet this year. That bothers me, a lot. I think it has a lot to do with how busy I have been lately. Work has been crazy and non-stop for the last couple of months. Our Christmas tree is up, but I still haven't had enough time to get all the Christmas decorations put up yet. I keep Christmas music playing on my computer at work and have my decorations out in my office. Candles are burning on my desk, and the entire office smells of cinnamon and sugar.....but I just don't feel it yet. I haven't gotten my Christmas cards out yet, I just don't know. That feeling is back though. That feeling I get from time to time that makes me want. Not want for physical things, but I feel like there is something missing, something that I need to find, but somehow, I never seem to find what I'm looking for.

I had hoped that I would get a call from my boss this morning and tell me not to bother coming in to work today, but alas no call from the bossman. The only call that I got this morning was from the nice guy I work with that lives down the street from me. He offered me a ride to work this morning because the roads were so bad. Doesn't hurt that he has a big truck and grew up in upstate New York. B thought it was a great idea and dropped me off so I wouldn't have to drive the half hour to work myself, and he could take my car to work. Dangit! I was really hoping to be able to spend this day finishing the decorating on the house and playing in the snow/ice with Cooper (who still hasn't gotten to see Santa yet).

His job is, I believe, a big part of my concern right now. B works for a major communications company, think phones, that has just decided to cut 12,000 jobs nationwide. B doesn't seem to be worried at all, but I'm panicked. Three guys in western Kentucky have been "surplussed" that we know of, so far. Doesn't make for a serene Christmas feeling. I'm looking forward to Saturday when B is at work; hopefully I can get the rest of the Christmas done.

I have decided to force myself to feel Christmas. As it is pretty icy and snowy here, we don't expect a lot of business today, so I have decided to dedicated today to immersing myself in Christmas. Here are some pics that help some....

Most of the photos came from BHG.com

Anniversary

2008-12-12T12:27:00.009-06:00

Earlier today I got a call from my favorite person....Tracy, my hairdresser! I LOVE HER! She is so cool and she is the only person that I trust enough to just sit down and say, "have fun!" She has never let me down. Anyway, I called her Tuesday night to see when she could get me in because my hair color was fading and I wanted to get it colored again before Christmas. She called me today to see if I had any time available on Monday or Tuesday. So, I pulled out my calender and HOLY CRAP! TUESDAY IS MY ANNIVERSARY! How did that happen?!?!?!?!?!?!

Wow, has it been two years since that fiasco. When I say fiasco, I really mean nightmare. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING went as planned. It was horrible! The only thing that went as planned was that we ended up getting married.

Now I only have three days to get him an anniversary gift! What do you get someone for a second anniversary. I Googled it and, traditionally, it's supposed to be something made of cotton......help! Maybe a t-shirt.......Mini Cooper t-shirt? What do you think?

We have two Mini Coopers and he's obsessed.

Do You Eat December Snow?

2008-12-01T18:09:00.005-06:00

December dawned wet and soggy. Cooper woke me up off and on all night long wanting to go out, and finally at 5:30 he started sounding like he was sick with all the heaving and stuff. Great. I had to clean up that mess, then he must have started feeling better because he trotted happily to the back door wagging his tail. Grrrrrrr.....So, cold and dreary I had to take him for his morning walk in the rain and cold while B happily snored away in the nice warm bed that Cooper made me leave. Oh well. At least I got a jump start on the day, I guess.
Happily, by the time that I left for work that dreary, drizzly rain had turned to snow. SNOW! Not much mind you, but snow. It's the first day of December and I got to see snow! You have no idea how excited I am. It kept snowing off and on all day! How beautiful is this?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!? It's a snowy view from my in-laws deck.
HAPPY DECEMBER EVERYONE!

Time to snuggle up in front of the fireplace with a big mug of hot chocolate and a few white chocolate fudge covered oreos. YUM!

Cookbook Irritation

2008-11-21T10:24:00.001-06:00

Okay, I’m starting to get a little upset. For my birthday, way back in June, my lovely mother-in-law gave me money to buy some books that I had been wanting *She understands my addiction*. Anyway, I found a cookbook that I wanted very badly. It was Nigella Lawson’s Christmas cookbook.

It hadn’t been published yet, so I pre-ordered a copy. The book was scheduled to be published on October 28, 2008 and my copy would be delivered to my door within a week of its publication.

October 28th came and went no book. The first of November I get an email saying that the publication had been pushed back until November 11 and if I still wanted the book I had to get on the website and fill out another form. Okay, fine. Done.

What is today? November 21, 2008! I still have not gotten my book. Amazon says that it was published on November 11, but it also has this, “Sign up to be notified when this item becomes available.” What the crap!

Grrrr………..

Holiday Color

2008-11-19T15:43:00.004-06:00

So, every girl needs a make-up change-up for the holidays and this is mine. Let me introduce you to my new holiday lip-color! Estee Lauder Pure Color Lipstick in Maraschino

AND

Estee Lauder Pure Color Gloss in Cranberry

When you layer the two you get amazing color!

Happy

2008-11-19T13:22:00.014-06:00

"What makes you happy?" B asks me that every now and then....and I don't really have a good answer for him. So, now that I'm sitting here waiting for documents to come back to me before I can do anything else today, I'll share some of them with you.......

Family and Friends (I won't bombard you with any more pictures of them),

My "new" old car

Audry Hepburn AND pearls

My Cooper

SNOW!!!!!!

BalletRandom fun colors!

Norman Rockwell Christmas Prints

CANDY! Of which I have had way to much of today!

What makes you happy?

Depression

2008-11-14T08:41:00.007-06:00

Hello, I have sad news today. Well, sad to me. I got a call from a friend last night with the horrible news.
Let me give you a little background information....I grew-up in a town with two high schools: Muhlenberg South (the Suns)

and Muhlenberg North (the Stars)

We were bitter rivals from since the consolidation of the many area high schools in 1989.
Well, the call I got last night changed so much in my world. They are consolidating the schools. I cried. I feel like I am loosing my identity. I don't live there now, and haven't attended any school function since my little sister graduated, but I am horrified that they would do this. There is no word on what the school colors will be, or what the new mascot will be.

I pulled out my high school stuff last night just to remember. There is no way that I could get my big toe in my old cheerleader uniform, but I can still twirl a flag (much to the disdain of my arm muscles). Such sadness.

Gone Again - NKOTB

2008-11-12T15:28:00.024-06:00

Yes, I have been gone once again. This time, I was in St. Louis for three days. What was I there for you ask? Well, I saw the New Kids on the Block concert. YES I DID! I was a huge fan when I was younger and luckily, there were three of my friends that were as well. The four of us had planned to go to this concert for almost six months. Sadly, the morning we were leaving, one of the girls texts me and said that she had been up sick all night long and wouldn't be able to go. It was so sad. So, we took lots of pictures (between the two cameras that we had, we took over 400 pictures) and brought her back a souvenir. Here are a couple of souveniers for you....

Yes, they are a bit blurry, but you see that flag that is drapped around Donnie, yeah that's a 101st Airborne Flag. Some of the women in the crowd were 101st wives and had the flag with them. He got the flag, put it around his shoulders, then hung it on the stage for the rest of the night! I'm not affiliated with the 101st, but I am a city planner the Hopkinsville - Ft. Campbell area and that was just AWESOME!

<>Lynn's mom runs a screen-printing business and made these shirts for us. I know mine says Jordan, but my heart really belongs to Donnie! Oh, and Angie, myself, and Lynn made the Riverfront Times. First and last pictures courtesy of the Riverfront Times.

Christmas Already

2008-11-07T13:24:00.005-06:00

Has anyone else been thinking about Christmas? Am I the only weirdo? I know that Halloween just left us, and many of us are still trying to polish off the candy, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner, but all I can seem to think about is Christmas.

I just got off the phone with my mother who finally set a date for Thanksgiving. You see, I haven't had a holiday with my mother since the divorce. A few months ago, she ask me if B and I would go to Disney World with her next fall because that's where she's getting married. MARRIED! I know that it's my own fault that I have only met her fiance once, but I am trying to build a bridge now. I have offered to host a Thanksgiving dinner (on an alternate date) so that we could all have a holiday together, well, most of us. The reason that we haven't had a holiday together is because my mother refuses to be in the same room as my father. *I want to clear-up any misconceptions that may be forming....my father did not cheat on my mother or anything like that......My mom is the one that left for whatever her reasons were....she never really said.*

I know that I should leave up my fall decorations till after said Thanksgiving meal, but I just can't! I want to put up my Christmas tree and break out the holly (hehehehehe). I ask B if it would be okay with him......he said that he didn't care.

So I guess I'm asking if anyone out there puts up their Christmas decorations, or just a few of them, before Thanksgiving. Am I alone in this?

Oh, and just for good measure......here's a little comic to get you in the spirit a little early.

Halloween Pics

2008-11-06T09:45:00.029-06:00

Here are a few pics from our Halloween!

Angie and Chris

The Lovely Maria

B & I

Laura & Travis

In the car on the way to the Warehouse

Hard to believe that I work with these guys!

This guy won 'Best Costume' that night. Slingblade! I never saw him break character all night!

Happy Birthday Laura!!!!

These guys were too funny!

P Jones (Project Jones) is AWESOME!The "night" finally ended about 3:00 A.M. .......and a good time was had by all.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

2008-10-31T12:11:00.009-05:00

Isn't this so cute! I just love it.....I can't remember where I found it, but I just love it.

This has been a hectic couple of weeks. I have been on three trips for work in four different cities and I have no idea how, but I am finally caught up.

I am not usually a Halloween person. I'm more like Nico on Lipstick Jungle, I just ignore it and focus on holidays that I like, like Christmas (total Christmas nut! You'll see). But this year, it is different. This year there was a new girl at work, and wouldn't you know it, we really like her. And to top it all off, today is her birthday. So, to celebrate, some of the gals at work decided to dress up, then a select few of us are going out tonight to a club to have some fun. B's not entirely excited about it, but he'll deal...he's going as "V" from 'V for Vendetta'.

Here is a pic of a few of us from work this morning.......

It's the Flapper's Birthday!

This is not what I will be wearing out tonight, that outfit looks more like this....no halo and my black wings....the wings didn't stay on long a work.

Happy Haunting!

Update for an update

2008-10-15T09:45:00.003-05:00

Sorry it has taken me so long to post again. I am still trying to get my house back under control after the Ham Festival. I did remember to take a few pictures, but I haven't had a chance to upload them to my computer yet....that's a few items down on my to-do list. I have to go out-of-town for work today, but I want to leave you with this picture:

Isn't he precious! A CUP OF JOE had a post about the blog A Year In Pictures. There are some adorable, hilarious, and touching pictures on that blog. Enjoy and I'll be back posting in a couple of days, hopefully...maybe.

WARNING: VEGITARIANS SHOULD AVOID READING THIS POST!!!

2008-10-07T11:33:00.004-05:00

This weekend is the big weekend for my tiny little town. I may, or may not have, mentioned the festival that occurs in our town every October. It is *drum roll please* the “Ham Festival.” Yes, the Ham Festival, and no, I’m not kidding. The shocking part of all of this is that we were both very aware of this festival when we bought our house. Cadiz, Kentucky is nicknamed “Hamtown” because of Broadbent’s. Broadbent’s is a company that makes and sells ham products (i.e. country ham, bacon, sausage, etc.) in Trigg County, Kentucky. So, it’s no wonder that Cadiz is the home of the world’s largest ham and biscuit (again, not kidding).

Every year around this time our quiet little town is bombarded by visitors and all the locals coming out to embrace their inner carnie. The entire downtown is blocked off and the streets are filled with craft booths, balloon-twisting clowns, carnival food carts, and vendors of every kind. Not only this, but the park is filled with carnival rides and games. It is rumored that they will be bringing back the pig races this year.

I may sound like this is an utter catastrophe, for our town, but actually it is the opposite. People get into this and it brings a lot of business downtown. At least, I hope it does again this year (there is little coffee shop that opened a couple of months ago that I really want to do well, sweet people). The real catastrophe is that they don’t allow people to bring their dogs downtown!

I’m not big into the ‘Carnie’ mentality but it is an excuse to have my family come and see me. There are several booths set-up like they do every Saturday at the Farmer’s Market. Those are the ones that you want to hit early in the day before all the good stuff is gone, and the classic car show is pretty cool. It is nice to see all the houses with big beautiful mums and fall decorations all set off against a backdrop of the historic homes and their large trees in full fall colors.

It’s also a perk for me that my family likes to come in to see us and visit. I don’t get to see my family much so I’m pretty excited that my Dad and Stepmom will be coming over on Friday with my sis and niece. Darci and Maddi will be spending the night with us on Friday night and going home with my grandparents who are coming to visit on Saturday! Yay!

Now I just have to find time to clean my house and cook a fantastic supper for Friday, then the snacks and lunch on Saturday (I don’t condone the carnie food). Hopefully, will remember to get a few good pictures of Maddi.

Gray's & Christmas

2008-09-26T09:50:00.003-05:00

Tell me you watched Gray’s Anatomy last night!?!?!?! I did a little dance when I remembered that it came on again last night. No, seriously and it wasn’t pretty.

The first five minutes of the show were pure emotional turmoil. I won’t tell you anything in case you recorded it and just haven’t gotten to watch it yet. Let’s just say it was goooooooood. And Denny, sweet, wonderful, adorable Denny. I honestly don’t think that poor Izzie will ever get over him; which is fine by me, I enjoy seeing him (Oh, and he was such a hottie in P.S. I Love You).

Anyway, I am so excited! If I haven’t let it slip yet, I am a huge Christmas fanatic. This being said, it’s no wonder that I started to squeal and hop around the room when I found out that Holly from Mommy Holly is hosting a Christmas Swap called ‘Snowflakes and Sparkles.’
I can’t wait! If you want to participate, hop on over to Mommy Holly and sign-up. Btw Holly, you’re a doll! Thanks for adding to my Christmas addiction.

I LOVE MUSIC

2008-09-25T08:30:00.001-05:00

http://www.nuttinbutstringz.com/

Have you heard these guys? They are AWESOME! They are on America's Got Talent. Now this was one of those shows that I refused to watch at first, but this year is really good. They have some really great vocal talent this year, not to mention these guys. If you haven't been watching, you need to search YouTube for Neil E. Boyd, Eli Mattson, and Nuttin But Stringz. Seriously, they are great. I had my fears that, as with many types of dance, the good classical music would be lost with the new world of rap and hip hop, not that there is anything wrong with either of those genres of music, they're just not my taste. It's just not me.

My father introduced me to classical music at a young age. My mother loves popular music, but my dad loves a little bit of everything, well hip hop and rap are not really his style either. He's the one that got me into Irish cultural music (yes that is part of our heritage) and I, in turn introduced him to Josh Groban. *sigh*

Isn't he beautiful. I could look at him all day. No, I am not part of the online group called the Grobanites (I think that's how it's spelled), but I do have all of his CDs. Don't judge me until you hear him, you'll get hooked too. My BF never liked classical music and thought that I was crazy until she heard him in my car one day....and you know what....she started to upload some of his music too. Strange how that happens. Anyway, I would give B's left arm to go see him in concert (well I couldn't give up mine, I have to have both arms to hug him); I have to admit that I have teased B for several years that Josh Groban will be my next husband LOL!

Oh well, back to reality. Classical music isn't the only kind of music that I obsess about. I'm a sucker for old Metalica, Seven Mary Three, Cowboy Mouth, Papa Roach, Dave Matthews (who doesn't), The Pogues, Coldplay, OneRepublic, well I don't need to go into my entire playlist on iTunes.

So, when there are days that the world just doesn't make like easy on me, I pop in my headphones and listen to either Josh Groban or the sound track to one of my favorite movies August Rush.

What's not to love? Great storyline, cute kid, great music........

really cute guy, and my favorite instrument of all time...................

The Cello. If only I could go back in time and learn to play the cello. I could start now, but I would have to pay a good $2,000 or so for a second-hand cello.

Insecurity and Ghosts

2008-09-24T08:38:00.006-05:00

I never intended to use this blog as a journal or anything but this seems to be the easiest way to get some things off my chest; and it’s cheaper than therapy.

Not sure where I found this

Today is a very uneasy day for me. I feel completely insecure and very alone for several reasons. Today is my follow-up exam. Back in January, I went in for my annual (women, you know what I’m talking about) and when the tests came back I swear my heart stopped when the nurse said “abnormal.” Now, eight months and a ton of folic acid later, I am going back for the follow-up. I’m sure that it will come back fine, and that the first results were just a fluke ~ maybe a lingering cold or something that threw off the results, but still it is unnerving to go to those appointments. I won’t find any comfort today, but maybe next week when the results come back. But all of this is coming at a pretty unfortunate time right now. You see, I found his ‘stash’.

You know that ‘stash’ that all men have and pretend that they don’t. Well, I was trying to find some of the pictures from our wedding to upload and found his. Men just don’t understand how insecure that junk makes us feel. Just knowing that it was there has made me feel more distant from him. I’m noticing things that have no importance but feel huge now (not kissing me when I got home from class last night ~ true he has been sick and has coughed in my face more than once in the past week, but still). *side-note ~ they are gone now, he must have forgotten to cover his tracks last Tuesday.*

Then I read a post from Susannah that brought back some ghosts that I had tried to bury for a long time. I’m not going to give the link to that post, just her fabulous blog, but I completely understand what she felt, well sort-of. Once upon a time, about four years ago, B and I split up for whatever reason. Let’s just say that a women’s intuition is usually right, and I knew that he was not alone. The break-up didn’t last long and I kept quiet about my secret knowledge for quite a long time. A couple weeks after he proposed I told him that I didn’t want there to be any secrets between us and I just needed him to say it, he did and cried and we moved on while I tried to bury the feelings. I didn’t ask who she was, I just told him that when he was ready to tell me, I would listen. While I don’t know for sure, I believe I have narrowed it down to two: one is the b*tch that tried to steal him when we started dating; and the other one, well she is a faceless specter that has haunted me for four years. I work in the town that he lived in, at the time, and I have never been comfortable. Every woman that’s about our age that I meet on the sidewalk, I wonder if that was her and if it was her, what was it about her?

So last night I lay in bed as B snored away cuddling up to me with Cooper wedging himself in-between as tightly as possible while I stared into the darkness, at the ghosts that have taunted me for four years. I know without a doubt that he loves me. He often suprises me with the little things that he does, like ordering my favorite pizza when I've had a bad day at work even thought he hates it, and leaving me little notes when he has to be somewhere before I get home from work, things like that. I know that I have a wonderful life. Maybe I'm just a masochist because I’ve often wondered if I really want to know who she was, if I really wanted that confirmation? Would it help to have a face to manifest whatever feeling on? And what would that feeling(s) be? Disgust? Anger? Jealousy? Sadness? Pity? I’m not sure that I really want to find out.

I suppose this really is the season for ghosts.
Photo found on Martha Stewart

Cleaning Up

2008-09-16T15:02:00.006-05:00

Let me start by saying that my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has suffered some sort of damage from Ike. We felt him up here in Kentucky pretty strongly, so I can't imagine what residents of the coastal areas felt.

You may, or may not, remember my post some time ago about how B had surprised me by putting up a pretty fence in our back drive-area, well, it felt Ike too.

Before Ike

After Ike

We were visiting my family all this past weekend and weren't home. When B's parents were driving back from church they stopped to check on our house for us. I was actually at my grandparent's house cooking when B's dad called to tell me they were at our house. I ask if everything was okay, and in an ominous tone he said, "No, let me talk to [B]." My heart stopped, I just knew that the giant pecan tree had snapped and crushed our entire house. I hovered over B until he hung up and told me that it was just the old dead tree that we were going to have taken down anyway, but it did crush part of our fence.

When we got home that afternoon, our neighbor met us in the driveway and let us know that if we needed any pictures for our insurance company, we had already made the local radio station's website. I'm not sure why after looking at the other pictures, our damage was quite tame. While the tree did crush several of my flowers that were planted there, we were incredibly lucky. I didn't get any pictures of the other trees that were blown over in our back yard, they just didn't seem like that big of a deal to me. Other people would disagree I know, but I am just grateful that it wasn't worse than it was.

I am really not sure how the tree didn't hit our house. It should have. On of our other neighbors said that he watched it fall and felt sure that it was going to hit our house, but it must have been another gust of wind that blew it in the other direction. If I weren't a religious person, I would have a hard time explaining that final gust of wind that caused the tree to miss our house completely.

Food Network Hosts

2008-09-10T10:03:00.005-05:00

I love the Food Network! If I really do. Granted, I don't love all the shows on there, but there are a couple of hosts that I would give my right arm to meet. First of all, I love, love, love Nigella Lawson. I pre-ordered her Christmas cookbook back in June, and I can't wait for October 28th to get here. I don't know what it is about her but there is something there that makes you want to be her. She isn't loud or obnoxious like some, and she is real. She isn't stick thin or look like she eats only one meal per week. She loves food and she is unashamed of it. That's the way it should be. I love her voice, B says that it creeps him out, but her voice is so calming and soothing, it is odd though. She is British and has that awesome accent, but that is beside the point. I have tried several of her recipes and love them. There are a few that are VERY British and I just can't bring myself to try them, but those I have tried, I love.

The other host that just embodies everything that is good about cooking and food is this lady

Paula Deen! Who doesn't love Paula Deen? Seriously, if you don't love her, you are not human. She is like the cool aunt at family gatherings that always makes the best food.

I have read about their respective lives and find it incredibly empowering. Neither had an easy go of life, but both have ended up in a wonderful place. Did you know that Nigella is/was a journalist?! Now I just need to find a way to get my own cooking show.....hmmm. Have you seen Paula Deen's husband? He is just the cutest.

I love their attitudes and persistence, they are both just wonderful. From their gorgeous kitchens to their true love for food, they are fantastic!

2008-09-08T11:21:00.004-05:00

Maybe I have hit this point in my life that I am tired of taking crap off of other people. I just snapped at work today. I have been working on a project to help low-income people, but they have not been willing to work with us, and some act like I should hold their hands and spoon feed them the entire way. WAKE UP! YOU ARE ADULTS! I told my boss that I was not going to spoon-feed them anymore, if they want it, they have to put forth the effort; if not, that's their hard luck.

And it hasn't been just that project. I have been like that all day today! I like it. I feel much better. I very well could get fired, but damn, my sanity and my ulcer need a break. I am not going to put myself through hell if the people that I am trying to help intentionally make it harder to help. I am done. I feel much better about it already.

Oh, I did get my dishes on Friday! I tried to take some pictures on Saturday, but I got a little distracted. I did get these done

Ten points to whoever can name that movie on the tv! Okay, it it kinda blurry. I love old movies and Fred & Ginger are awesome! It's Swing Time, one of my favorites and a true classic.
Right after I shot these, B came home for lunch and I got a call that his cousin (his favorite cousin) and her husband were in town and wanted to see if we wanted to get together. I said sure! What else could I say....that was then followed by a conversation about where they were going to stay that night, so I invited them to crash at our place. That was when I went into manic cleaning mode. So, I promise I will take some better pictures if anyone cares.

2008-09-04T15:44:00.003-05:00

So far today it has been cloudy and rather drizzly, and to my happy surprise it has hardly broken 80 degrees. The wind is blowing and it has a touch of a chill in it *YAY* and you can almost smell fall.

This is my kind of a day.

These are a few of the things that have been helping get me though the day thus far.

Mmmmmm.... apple cider (unfortunately it is the instant stuff, but it gets the job done for the moment), pumpkin room spray, and my iPod makes working on the never-ending list of things to get done at work.

My mother-in-law emailed me earlier to rub it in my face that she was decorating her house for fall. Grrrrrrr…..

One of the girls in the office ask if I would like to go to one of the antique stores with her on our lunch break. I love antique shops, of course I’m going to go. While I was there with her looking for a new old desk for her office I spotted some beautiful china. Two sets of 12 piece place settings with serving pieces! One was $100 and the other was $150. I wish I had taken a picture…..dang.

If there is the slightest chance that I will be hosting Thanksgiving dinner for B’s family I need a full set of china with serving pieces. I only got two place settings of our wedding china and I’m too cheap to pay for the full set. But you can’t beat $100 - $150 for a 12 piece place setting and serving dishes.

I called B and he said that it was okay, only I’ll have to go back tomorrow to get it hehehehehehehehehe. I'll take pictures of whichever one I get. YAY!

Impatiently Awaiting Fall

2008-09-04T08:36:00.007-05:00

Labor Day has come and gone, and unfortunately B had to work on Saturday which left me at the lake with his family (sister, nieces, brother-in-law, and all). That's all well and good, but I really think that Taylor, the youngest, is sick. It's either that, or we need to call for an exorcism. Wow, she screamed ALL WEEKEND LONG! She has to be sick.......anyway, after spending almost three days on the lake we were all pretty waterlogged and decided to hit the Labor Day sales. That is where I found this.......

I couldn't help myself. I took one look at the Halloween costumes at Petsmart and I just couldn't help myself. I had just planned to run in and grab some of those Pill Pockets that Greenies makes (wonderful, btw ~ Cooper now takes his pills with no problem instead of spitting them out) and some all natural anti-itch spay, but the display hit me as soon as I walked in the door. There was nothing that I could do. I had my decision narrowed down to either the Pirate or the Ghost, and B chose this one.

The only really bad thing about all this is that it has jump-started my need for all things fall. I'm not really a spring or summer person, but I adore fall and winter(Christmas is my real obsession). I stalked my mail box for weeks until my September Better Homes and Gardens arrived, then the Midwestern Living, and now I'm waiting on my next Mary Engelbreit. I have pulled out all my fall clothes and I'm impatiently waiting for the arrival of cooler temps so I can wear my long sleeves.

Little does B know, I will be decorating for fall the next two nights, hehehehehehe. That's the beauty of compensation time at work. I had a meeting last night and so, instead of getting paid overtime, I get to leave two hours early sometime this week; I'm thinking I'll take it tomorrow. I have to get a jump start; I think I may have been drafted to host B's family Thanksgiving this year........fine by me.

So, for all of you out there who are, like myself, anxiously awaiting fall...here are some pictures that make me want to curl up with some hot apple cider.

P.S. Starbucks has an awesome Caramel Apple Spice! You have to try it.

All from Martha Stewart

I have no idea

Pie & Peppers

2008-08-27T20:47:00.006-05:00

When B and I went to see my family, we did not come home empty-handed....we never do. My sister sent us home with canned green beans from her garden, home-jarred tomato juice (also from her garden); while my grandma sent us home with home-made grape juice (grapes from my dad's vines), and my dad sent us home with a melon, and these:

I may have never addressed my love of all things spicy before, but there you have it. I LOVE ALL THINGS SPICY! Well, most things....which probably isn't good for my ulcer...hmm.....

So what do you do with a bag full of different kinds of peppers and tomatoes that people keep giving me (seriously I came back from lunch one day and someone had put a big bag of tomatoes on my desk)? You make Hot Spanish Rice! Love it! You get some of that Spanish rice stuff that is pre-bagged, then boil in 2 cups of water, 2 diced tomatoes, 2 banana peppers, 2 jalapeno peppers, and a red bell pepper and cook till rice is tender. CAUTION: THIS WILL BE HOT! This is not for the weak. *Sorry, I ate it all before I got a picture, well B ate a few spoonfuls.*

So, what do you chase hot Spanish rice with? Cherry Pie a la mode, of course. I decided that I wanted cherry pie while I was driving home from work and the craving hit, so I didn't have time to make it from scratch. I stopped by the grocery store and got *gasp* pre-rolled pie crust and pie filling in a can! When I went to make it, I opened the can and took a taste. Yuck! Okay, it wasn't nasty, but it wasn't going to hit the spot.....so I punched it up a bit. I am my father's daughter.

A little lemon juice, tablespoon or so of amaretto, two heaping tablespoons of brown sugar, a heaping tablespoon of white sugar, a pinch of cinnamon, and a pinch of cayenne pepper (a tiny little pinch). Yummy! Just follow the instructions on the box for the crust and you have this!

Okay, the hearts weren't called for, but after I trimmed the excess from around the edges I had enough to use like a cookie dough with some cookie cutters.

It did hit the spot, and with some vanilla frozen yogurt, wonderful! AND the frozen yogurt is good for the ulcer......see, there you go.

Oh, in case you read yesterday's post, no the class was not canceled. They decide to conduct the class via ITV. So I still have to take the class but with the added bonus of not being in the same room with the professor, just a creepy floating head on a TV screen. Crap! Crap! Crap! I just hope that it isn't as hard as the other classes that I have had in the past.

We get to keep Baxter again tonight, B's parents are going to be with his sister to her specialist appointment and had to leave today. He's doing better than he did the last few times that we kept him.

2008-08-26T09:10:00.013-05:00

Hello, and I’m sorry for being MIA for so long. It seems that all the stress at work has caused a little hole in my stomach……okay, it’s an ulcer. Fun Fun! So, I took a couple of days off and TRIED to relax. You know, when you try to relax it’s not so easy.

This past weekend B and I got to spend some time with the families. Both, which is rare. His niece had her seventh birthday party on Saturday night, and so we decided to spend some time with my family earlier in the day. It helps that B’s sister lives in the same town that my family lives in (sucks that we live so far away from them though). My stepmother had to work that afternoon, so we met everyone for lunch.

Daddy and Lavonda

My Grandparents

And my sister and Maddie! Maddie insisted that I sit by her, which was fine with me. Her daddy had to work. :-(

B wanted to stop by a sporting goods store, which I had no interest in, so Daddy agreed to go with him while I went home with Darci and Maddie. Maddie loves to sing so Darci got her a CD of Disney songs from the classic masterpiece movies, and she knows the words to all the songs! She's 3!

I hate that I am missing out on her growing up! They are coming to stay with us in October for the Ham Festival (not joking) and I can't wait!

These are some of the pictures from Haley's birthday party:

Yes, that is B on a plasma scooter being chased by his three-year-old niece.

The Birthday Girl on a pogo-ball

And finally one of our gifts for Haley. When B saw this he had to get it for her (I made him call his sister to ask for permission before I let him buy it though).

So it was a pretty okay weekend. On our way home we stopped by our favorite bar to hear a great little band. I work with one of the guys and had to run by and support them. The band is called Southern Fried and they play all kinds of music. They are so much fun.

Well, wish me luck, tonight is the first night of the forced class. My boss is forcing me to get a masters in public administration, first class tonight. I thought that one of the guys from work would be taking the class as well, but he told me on Thursday that he wouldn't be taking any classes this semester (I could have killed him). I then checked the enrollment online and it said that only four people were signed up for the class (one of which was him), so I'm praying that they will cancel the class. I don't need the added stress of a class on top of the stress from work. And trust me, all the stress from work is causing stress at home.....I really don't need to add to all of that. If they cancel the class, it's not my fault, there is nothing that I can do about it. So, yeah, I'm praying.

Oh, and thank you to everyone who kept my sister-in-law in your thoughts and prayers. She did get the other test results back and she does not have Lupus. Thursday she is going to a specialist for the Lyme Disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

Am I imagining this?

2008-08-20T11:49:00.007-05:00

Is it just me or is Brad Pitt starting to look like Eric Dane?

Pitt

McSteamy

HBO for the Troops

2008-08-20T11:11:00.001-05:00

I have just been looking around when I saw this on I *Heart* You. Now, if you don't feel like going to the site to read her great post.....if you visit this site and click on Troop Drive you can sign up to donate an item that has been requested by our boys and girls. THERE IS NO COST TO YOU! HBO will be donating these items to the soldiers in your name.

I really don't care how you feel about the war, this is for our soldiers.

Olympic Fever

2008-08-14T08:48:00.004-05:00

It's a pretty good bet that by now, this symbol is familiar to almost everyone. Despite, what any one's feelings may be concerning China, it's the games themselves that I'm talking about.

It's official. I, along with most of B’s family, have Olympic Fever. This is very real. It all began with the thrill that I got when I saw the first Olympic commercial on television (but only the ones with the Morgan Freeman voice-overs). Then, there was the Opening Ceremonies. I noticed that there was a problem when remembered, with panic, that I forgot to set the TiVo!

Watching the Olympic Torch lighting was the cincher for me….I’m hooked. I have set my TiVo to record all Olympic coverage so that I can watch it when I get home from work. I check the medal stats throughout the day, and I cheer at my television at night, scaring Cooper to death as he snoozes on my lap.

Yes, I have Olympic Fever. I wonder if this really is a disorder. Hmmmmm…….

Seriously, our swimmers are awesome. I went crazy when Phelps one his first gold this year, and every one since then. You have to be a special kind of dedicated to continue, and win, when your goggles burst. Eleven gold medals and he’s what…..23? I watched Peirsol win gold and Grevers win silver; B had to tell me to stop drooling during the post swim interviews……..they are both ummm…. very good looking individuals.

Then, there was the men’s gymnastics team! None of those boys had ever been to the Olympics before, and loosing some of their teammates to injuries just before it began….using all of their alternates but one! No one thought that they would be able to get a respectable score, and they won BRONZE! True it’s not gold, but who cares, no one thought they could do it! Jonathan Horton nailed every landing, Artemev rocked on the pommel horse, and Raj is just adorable. Is it just me, or does Justin Spring resemble Prince Harry a bit?

I can’t wait to see more of the softball coverage! I love watching our women crush the competition. It’s so sad that they are eliminating softball and baseball after this year.

Okay, I’ll stop now. But please, someone, tell me I’m not alone in contracting Olympic Fever!

Crappy Day

2008-08-13T19:35:00.004-05:00

Well today sucked. Pardon the expression. I don't really care for my job, okay I would rather put my head in a vice than go to work. Today was one of those days when you wonder why the crap you have stuck around this long, this was only supposed to be a temporary thing. I was informed today that they are going to try to make us work on Christmas Eve. Now, several people that I have talked to have said that this isn't a big deal, and if I worked in the service industry it might be different, but I work in local government, for now. It may not be a big deal to a lot of people, but it is a huge deal to me. I have begun my job search in earnest now. I have been looking around for a while, but I have reached my breaking point; today was the last straw, and the Christmas Eve thing is just a small part of it.

So, as I updated my resume and did several thousand job searches, B was kind enough to cook dinner. Stuffed green peppers! That small one has tomorrow's lunch written all over it.

He didn't really use a recipe, he just made it up as he went along. He does that a lot. BTW, the muffins I posted about yesterday were wonderful! I have a new favorite.

Fall Muffins

2008-08-12T15:16:00.004-05:00

Today was one of those comfortable days that make you grasp at the hope that it isn’t just a cool spell, and that fall will really set in early. I know, don’t hold your breath. After all, this is Kentucky that I live in, and the motto goes, “If you don’t like the weather, stick around for a couple of days and it’ll completely change.” This knowledge makes me certain that the agonizing heat and humidity will return with vengeance in the next day or two. But for today, I will embrace the cooler fallish weather.

B had the day off today and spend the majority of it with his dad working on the airplane and riding their motorcycles to pick up parts for it (is it just me or do you think it would be hard to pick up a piece for an airplane on a motorcycle? Something tells me that they are just making it up as an excuse to go riding…..hmmmm).

As I am embracing the unseasonably fallish weather, I have been dying to try a recipe for apple cinnamon muffins with streusel topping that I found on foodtv.com. I have several apples that need to be used before they go bad. I love eating them traditionally but after eating so many of them that way, I need variety. I also need something to eat for breakfast because I (shamefully) don’t eat breakfast. I sustain myself with lots of coffee and the occasional biscotti that I grab on my way out of the door. It is my naive belief that if I have muffins, I will eat them instead of just living off coffee.

This is my attempt at these muffins. Please disregard my oven, B let something overflow yesterday.

My entire house smells of cinnamon, apples, and nutmeg now....ahhh the smells of fall.

B and I are planning to attempt stuffed green peppers tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes.

2008-08-10T18:15:00.004-05:00

On Friday, B called to let me know what was wrong with his sister. She hadn't been feeling well all summer; we all attributed it to shingles. The doctors told her that she had shingles and put her on steroids. The spots went away, but she still felt horrible so she went back to the doctor for a battery of tests, half of which have yet to come back. But Friday, she called us when some of them came back. She has Lyme Disease AND Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. Frighteningly enough, the steroids, that they gave her for the shingles that the doctors thought she had, could have killed her with the Lyme Disease. We're not so sure that that is what she has....the Lupus test has yet to come back. There is a history of Lupus in their family, and if she does have it, that can cause a false positive on those tests.

If that isn't bad enough, many of her "friends" haven't been so great about it. She emailed her small group Bible study for them to pray for her, but not one of them emailed her back. When she got to the church for the study, most of them treated her like an outcast. There are a couple who have stood by her and been there for her whenever she needs them, but several of them have been acting very cliquish, and that is not what she needs trying to get through all of this.

Now I will not even try to pretend that she and I are all that close. We have had a very "unusual" relationship; in fact, she's the reason that I met B. She kept pushing me to meet her brother and after a couple months of pushing, I gave in and the rest is history.

If you don't mind, could you keep my sister-in-law in your thoughts and prayers for all that she is going through. Shamefully enough, this is the only picture that I have on my computer. So, this is B's sister Stacey and her youngest daughter (B's niece & one of his goddaughters) Taylor. This picture will be two years old in October, thankfully she won't see this and wont kill me :-D.

My Sister's Wedding

2008-08-06T19:40:00.008-05:00

Today is my little sister's anniversary. Anniversary number four actually. Yes, my baby sister, Darci, got married before I did, and yes I heard about it.

That was the most tortured summer of my life. So many horrible things happened that summer that everyone in my family needed something good to happen. That was the summer that my parent's got a divorce, B and I split up (again, but only for two weeks that time, and we were back together before the wedding), we lost my grandmother and one of my father's best friends.

Darci had been dating Daniel for a while when he proposed, but they had no intention of getting married till each of them got out of college. That didn't so much happen. You see, Daniel was in the National Guard and that same summer they got the word that his unit was going to be deployed to Iraq for a year one month later. The minute he found out, he called Darci and they decided to get married immediately.

As I said, B and I had split up, and I was in a funk. Darci caught me off guard when she told me that they were getting married in two weeks and she needed me to plan the wedding, I freaked, but it got me out of the funk. Two weeks, seriously......I planned her wedding in two freaking weeks. Given that, it's sad to admit that her wedding turned out better than my own (with 10 months to plan).

Happy Anniversary Darci & Daniel

God knows that you're the only person in the world that I would wear THAT dress for.

Oh, and 11 months and eight days later, we had this little addition to the family......hehehehe she likes my sunglasses.

Cooper

2008-08-04T21:32:00.005-05:00

Cooper is, if I haven't told you already, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (CKCS). Now, this is a long haired breed, and we were told that the CKCS does not shed. YEAH RIGHT! Yes they are wonderfully beautiful with their long hair, but with the miserable summers in Kentucky, it would just be cruelty to make Cooper run around with all that hair.

For about a year now, B and I have been having Cooper clipped like a Cocker Spaniel. We had been toying with letting Cooper's hair grow-out so that by November he would have the long hair for when it does begin to get pretty cool. So, the clipping that he got at the end of June was going to be his last for some time.

NO WAY! I believe it was Saturday when I finally said ENOUGH! It is so freaking hot and humid that I wouldn't want to add to the incredible heat for the poor thing, and I just couldn't take all the hair in on my hardwood floors....I actually had fur-tumbleweeds drifting across my floors when the air conditioner kicked on. Here are a few before and after pics......

Before:

After (Driving Home):

After (At Home):

He wasn't very happy with us.

Hobby Help

2008-08-03T20:44:00.003-05:00

Okay, B has been telling me over and over that I need a hobby to take my mind off work when I get home. I have been going over all the things that I like to do to try to find a way to work it into a hobby. I'M STUCK!
I thought about baking, but B doesn't really like a lot of sweets, so a lot of what I make ends up going to waste. I'm not very crafty, I can work with some things, but I'm no Martha Stewart by any means.
A long time ago, my grandmother taught me to cross-stich, and then how to hand embroider. So, I thought that might be something that I could do..........but I live in a small town and not one store in the area carries embroidery supplies (i.e., hoops, thread, etc.) so I'll have to wait till I get a chance to go to a slightly larger town a couple of hours away to find a Hobby Lobby or a Michael's which could be a couple of weeks.

So, anyone out there have any advice? I would truly appreciate it.

I'm Sorry

2008-08-01T13:43:00.002-05:00

First, I need to apologize to anyone who has been checking my humble little blog wondering if I died. The answer is no, but my home-life has become virtually non-existent in the past couple of weeks. Not kidding. Out of the past 14 days, I have been able to come home, and stay home after work, exactly two of those days. I was hoping against hope that I would be able to get a picture of what stole all that time away from me, but B took my camera (and forgot where he put it) leaving it to collect dust in the garage.

This is what the culprit will look like when it’s finally finished……..sort of…..I think....and it will be yellow:

This is just a picture that I pulled from a Google image search. B’s dad used to fly all the time. Unfortunate, his dad was diagnosed with Meniere’s disease which effects his balance and caused dizziness, among other things causing him to give up flying. After operations and lots of research, he has found a way to start flying again…..thus beginning the $25,000 hobby. B and his dad bough a really old, in really bad shape plane, stripped it, and are now putting it back together. Oh, and B will be getting his pilot’s license (fun for him, ulcer for me).

So why am I taken away from my cool home where I can blog and cook and do laundry? Well, B, being the thoughtful guy that he is, doesn’t want his mom to be lonely in the house by herself. I will give him credit for being thoughtful, but honestly……we women (most of us at least) enjoy some time to ourselves! I have tried to explain this to him, but *Bless his sweet little heart* he just doesn’t understand, and thinks that I am trying to say that I, secretly, don’t like his family. So, I keep my mouth shut and go along with it to keep from starting an argument which he has already gone through with me in his head and determined that I have lost.

So, patient readers, the only two days that I have had at home were because B’s Nannie fell and broke her wrist and everyone had to be at the hospital = no work on the plane that day; and yesterday because B’s parents took Nannie home.

I am sorry again and I promise that I will do better.

Day 24

2008-07-20T20:56:00.005-05:00

There are so many things that I'm loving today! We met up with B's parents and went shopping and to see a movie. I got a pair of Levi's for next to nothing and a pair of bamboo yoga pants (not the color, the actual fabric is made out of bamboo, how cool and eco-friendly is that); super comfortable by the way.

We then went to see another movie. Saturday, B and I went to see The Dark Knight, AWESOME!!!! It was sad to know that that was the last movie that Heath Ledger finished (he was filming another movie when he died, can't wait to see that too), but the crowd on Saturday evening was still enormous for a tiny little theater. Anyway, that's beside the point......we went to see Mama Mia with B's parents. Later B told me that he secretly did really like the movie, I don't think his dad liked it, but it made me want to get up and dance. I really liked it. It is one of those 'feel good' movies. Will defiantly be buying it. Yes, I know, we are movieholics.

After the movie, we all went to the mall. B wanted to get a new surround system as ours bit the dust (and hard). Here's the not-so-good part of the day. While B is looking at systems I decide to get the soundtrack to Mama Mia and share it with B's mom. I get the CD and stand at the checkout for 10 minutes (not kidding). Clerks are walking around and basically ignoring me. I finally walk up to one of them and ask if we can check out. The punk kid has the nerve to snicker at me and say, "No, you'll have to go to the other end of the store." I then look at the punk and say, "You're kidding, right?" The punk says, "No, you'll just have to deal with it." I then, rather mad, roll my eyes at the punk, slam the CD down on a box next to him, and storm out of the store. I'm not going to name the store, but we the experience was not the Best, and we did not Buy anything.

I told B the story and instead of him telling me that I was imagining thing, he said that the guy that was supposed to be helping him with the surround systems, ignored him half the time and then got hateful with him to. Don't think we'll be going back there any time soon, or maybe ever. Anyway, B did end up getting a system at a quarter of the price that the punk store had it for, and I got the CD at a smaller electronics store, so all was good.

B's mom also gave me a bunch of home grown tomatoes, and then told me to get a few green tomatoes if I wanted them. While B was hooking the new system up, I was dancing around the kitchen making fried green tomatoes and singing along with the soundtrack.

It can make a bit of a mess though.

If you have never had a fried green tomato, you have not eaten true southern food. It is super easy to make them and oh so good on a sandwich of fresh white bread with some mayo (or if you don't like mayo, Miracle Whip is fantastic on it ~ it's comfort food for me b/c my mom used fry them a lot) though B refuses to eat them on a sandwich; he mumbles something about being gross and they didn't eat them that way in the movie (Fried Green Tomatoes), but I can't really hear him while humming Mama Mia and chowing down. Not looking forward to going to work tomorrow though.

P.S. If you do make them, please remember that the breading is crucial: all purpose flour, corn meal, salt and pepper to taste. The moisture from the tomatoes holds the mixture on, and there's no need for egg to make it stick.

Day 23

2008-07-19T21:27:00.004-05:00

I love old books. I have a few, but most of my collection is fairly new. Among my treasures, I have an old copy of 'The Life of Charlotte Bronte' , and a copy of 'Woman in Love'. Granted, neither is really old, but they have that old binding, the aged pages, and that 'old book' smell that I simply love.

My most treasured book, however, is not truly old. It is aged, and tattered, and is now "preserved" in a protective plastic covering and stored inside a glass box in the hopes that I can make it last forever.

This treasure is a tiny copy of Shakespeare's 'The Tempest'. It is not worth much to a collector, I checked once to see if I needed to have it insured. It is worth a fortune to me though; it belonged to my paternal grandfather. I didn't even know that it existed until my grandmother passed away. We found it in a drawer with a lot of pictures. My dad recognized it almost immediately and told me of it's ownership. He said that his father had loved literature; it must be where I got it from.

I never really got to meet my grandfather though, he passed away when I was six weeks old. I was extremely lucky to have 21 years with my 'mamaw' before she left us, and I am very grateful to have both of my maternal grandparents.

I'm just grateful that I have this tiny tattered book that was my grandfather's and to know that he loved literature too makes me feel more connected to him, even though I never really got to know him.

The only way that I could get a good picture was to sit it on one of my most recent purchases. BTW, I'm loving it!

Day 22

2008-07-18T23:06:00.003-05:00

I can't remember if I have ever mentioned it, but I live quite a ways away from my family. Now that my dad has remarried, my sister is married with a little girl, and my mom has moved away, I don't get to see my family as often as I would like.

Today, however, I was pleasantly surprised. I got a call from my dad asking if B and I had plans for tonight. I told him that we had mentioned going to see The Dark Knight but we didn't know if we would even be able to get in. So, Dad ask if we would be interested in having dinner with them at a restaurant that was very close to us. We immediately accepted.

So, not only did I get to see my daddy and step-mom, but they are spending the night with us so they can go with us to the Farmer's Market in the morning.

I'm grateful for little pleasant surprises like this.

Day 21

2008-07-17T19:18:00.004-05:00

I am so ready for fall! I think baking the cookies last night put me in the mood for fall! This past weekend B and I went to one of my favorite stores.....Hobby Lobby!!!

I loved the fact that I walked inside and was hit by a wall of browns, gold, orange, moss, and red! I love it! I can't wait. B happened to be in the electronics store next door, and by the time he tracked me down I had a buggy full of fall decorations and I had made my way into the Christmas stuff!!!!!!!!!!! Hobby Lobby always puts me in the mood for fall and winter. I love how they pull out their Christmas stuff just after the 4th of July.

Unfortunately, B wouldn't let me get any Christmas decorations yet, he said that I needed to wait till they had at least finished putting it all out. The more we looked around, I started to notice that things were disappearing out of my buggy. Thankfully I did make it out of the store with these two hangings.

I have to start thinking about our fall decorations early because we live in the small town that hosts the 'Ham Festival' *insert sarcastic remark/hick joke here*. Because of this, we have to have our house fully decorated before the first of October. The 'Ham Festival' is the official entrance into fall, even though fall officially begins a couple of weeks before. If you live on Main Street like we do, it's kind of an unwritten rule that you have to decorate and have a pig (not a real pig, I'll show you someday). But I am looking forward to decorating for fall and Halloween!

Maybe someone can help me with something......my mums are starting to bloom. Are they supposed to do that already?

Day 20

2008-07-16T19:50:00.008-05:00

The other day I realized that we didn't have any cookies in the house. We always keep a roll of chocolate chip cookie dough in the fridge, but that just didn't sound like it would hit the spot tonight. I was looking for a trip down memory lane with these, courtesy of Martha.

This is my humble attempt:

My grandmother always had a box of these in her pantry, and when a bridal shower something would come up, she would make them herself instead of buying them. Well, I didn't have my grandma's recipe, but Martha's is more than respectable. I know that there are tons of people who either love her with a passion, or hate her venomously, but however you feel about her she can make some great cookies.

I am rather messy, but you get the picture.

Several of the cookies didn't make it into the powdered sugar (confectioner's sugar - depending on which part of the world you live in), B snatched them up before they hit the cooling rack.

Oh, and I have to remember to change after work, but before I start cooking.

Yes, I am well aware that the lighting in my kitchen SUCKS!!

I love baking! It makes me want to start baking for fall......mmmmmmm fall.

Day 19

2008-07-15T19:21:00.008-05:00

Ahhhhhhhhh.........to be on vacation again. In May, B and I took off work for a week and spent it in Seaside, Florida. It's so calming and relaxing. The sun, the white sand, the clear blue water, the dolphins! I think we saw dolphins every day that we were there. It was so beautiful.

This is one of the pics from our pier.

I wish I was back there right now. It has been so stressful at work so far this week (and it's only Tuesday)! I wish I could be back in Seaside waking up, grabbing a light breakfast, and walking out on the beach until we got hungry for lunch. We would just walk across the street to one of the restaurants, then it was back to the beach for a few hours.

The view from one of our favorite restaurants.

It was so nice to walk up and down the beach, then just lounging on the warm white sand listening to the waves gently break on the sand. I just wish I had more vacation time so I could run away to the beach again. I'm grateful for any and all vacation time, the opportunity to use it, and the pictures that you bring back (to live it over again).

One of the adorable houses in Seaside.

Finally, the most adorable chapel that I have ever seen in my life! I wish B and I could have gotten married there.

Day 18 ~We didn't start the fire...

2008-07-14T20:49:00.008-05:00

Okay, yes I did. But it was just in my backyard!

Okay, here comes the creepy drawback to our house......it backs up to a cemetery. A CEMETERY! I agreed to buy the house with the stipulation that we would put up a solid privacy fence so that I wouldn't have to see it everyday for the rest of my life. It's been two years, we haven't quite made it there yet.

You can't really see it very well, but there is a mound where brush has been burned for about the last 20 years. There are tons of ashes just mounded up. Our plan is, after we compost the leaves this fall, we will spread it out and till up the area to prepare it for planting our garden in the spring. B ask me to set fire to some of the branches and I love the way that the smoke not only rid the back yard of those menacing mosquitoes, but it made for some really cool pictures. I am loving my back yard!

Day 17

2008-07-13T19:47:00.002-05:00

I'm going back to school. Not so much by choice. Work will be paying for it, and they want all of us to go back to get their masters (MPA - Masters of Public Administration). I wish they would just give me the money so I could pay off my current student loans that I accumulated during my undergraduate work, or let me get the masters degree of my choice.

I don't really care for the program; I think that is part of the reason that I don't like going back, well that and time. I took three MPA classes before B and I got married, and one the spring semester after our wedding, but I "took some time off" because 'work got busy.' Part of it is that I worked my butt off in my undergraduate work for a degree in Mass Communication which is pretty much worthless now. Most importantly, I don't have the time!!!!!

Unfortunately, one of the guys at work is going back to get his MPA and my bosses think that it would be easier to have someone to go through the program with (I have re-written that sentence four times and I can't find a way to make it end without using a preposition ~ that bothers me - SEE, MY JOURNALISM DEGREE WORKING AGAINST ME! But the bosses don't seem to care).

Since I have to go back, I am grateful that after this semester, I only have three classes that are required left, then the four required electives. With any luck, I should be finished in two and a half years. I'm only taking one class per semester, two max. That seems like a really long time.....but, who knows.............I could find a better job before then and not have to worry about it :-D.

Day 16

2008-07-12T22:58:00.004-05:00

Last night, B shocked my by telling me that Sunday is potluck after church. CRAP!!!!! I love Potluck Sundays, don't get me wrong, but there is always so much pressure that goes along with them. We attend church with a lot of well, rather "older" people, mostly grandmothers who can cook fantastically....so, yes, there is pressure. However, I think I have figured out what my secret weapon is for these Sunday's my banana lasagna. It's like banana pudding, only in a lasagna style with lots of extra goodies. I made it once last year and got rave reviews, well....actually it was the first dish emptied.

I made it tonight while listing to Adele on my freshly 'reformatted' iPod and thinking about dying my hair. Okay, I was singing loudly along with it and B just kept on ignoring me. Sorry, I forgot to take a picture of it before I popped the top on and slid that sucker in the fridge.

I then dyed my hair and am not finishing up Definitely Maybe and about to slip into my new bamboo sheets. The movie was not what I was expecting, but as I once read someone say (I think it was on the blog 'I *Heart* You', it may have been in a comment, not sure off the top of my head) the movie wasn't that great, but Ryan Reynolds is nice eye candy. I guess I'm grateful that I found my secret weapon, and some calorie-free eye candy. So enjoy the sweeties for tonight till potluck tomorrow.

Day 15 Comedy, Wine, Emma, & Kisses

2008-07-11T20:44:00.007-05:00

I believe that it was Sylvia Plath who once said, "There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them."

For me, it is more like a Friday night, a good bottle of wine (well at least a glass or two), a comedy, and ultimately finishing one of the greatest books in the English language.

When I came home, B rented a couple of movies for me, a comedy and a chick-flick. We ran to the grocery because I have to make my banana lasagna for the potluck after church on Sunday.
I then got to enjoy these things............I thought that it couldn't get much better than relaxing in that way, until I saw this....

This is what we call the 'puppy headlock.' This is something that Cooper has done since we brought him home. He will catch you off guard and put a paw on either side of your head and give you 'kisses', it's kind of his specialty.

Day 14

2008-07-10T21:22:00.006-05:00

I was at work this morning when I, as usual, pulled out my iPod to relax myself when I want nothing more than to slam my head in the door repeatedly.....but my horrible day was just beginning.

I turn on my iPod, the main menu opens.......I open my playlist and.............nothing. NOTHING!!!! EVERYTHING HAD BEEN WIPED CLEAN FROM MY IPOD! What the............!

Okay....I breath. I have iTunes on my computer at work with some of my music backed up there. NO GO! I get this message that says something is 'corrupt.' I cried! I get the techies from work to look at it, THEY KNOW NOTHING! Take it to the Mac Store! THAT'S THREE HOURS AWAY, I NEED IT NOW!

I was about to admit that my poor baby may have to be laid to rest.

I get home and hook it up to B's iMac (the last computer that it was hooked up to), NOTHING!!!! Okay, breath.....mine has been acting up, but it's my last hope. Connect. Well at least it connected. THANK YOU 'REFORMAT' BUTTON! Yes I had to add all my music all over again, and yes I lost all of the playlists that I had so carefully created over the past three years (yes, I have had it a long time, but once I find something that works for me I don't want to mess with it). I am grateful that I back up EVERYTHING, and that Apple thought to have a 'Reformat' button.

Day 13

2008-07-09T20:18:00.006-05:00

I knew that B was handy before I married him, but after buying our house, we really put that to the test. As I have said before, we have completely renovated this house. Well B had the week of the 4th off work, but I didn't......and he actually got some things done around the house while I was at work. These are a few examples of his handiwork.

I guess this picture deserves a back story. When we bought the house, no one told us that the guy that owned the house (two owners) before believed that cinder blocks, metal, and tar could fix anything and everything. We are still finding metal sheets and rods in the ground. The "flower bed" that wraps around the driveway was defined by cinder blocks in the ground, not attractive, but I had tried to make the best of it and plant flowers and shrubs (they are still pretty young). I was under the impression that it was going to be quite a while before I could get a fence put up, but I came home from work and found what is shown in the picture above, and below.

If I had known that B was this handy, I would have married him earlier. I couldn't help getting this pic just before we took Cooper for a walk.

Definitely grateful for B's handy tendencies.

Day 12

2008-07-08T20:08:00.007-05:00

I am loving Jane Austen! Well, I have always loved her but recently I decided to read all of her novels. I am several in, and I just can't get enough. My best friend got me a huge book for my birthday which was exactly what I wanted The Complete Novels of Jane Austen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could there be a better best friend?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I DON'T THINK SO!

I have always loved the classic novels. In high school people could not understand, could not fathom that I would read Jane Eyre (by Charlotte Bronte, not Jane Austen) and it not be required reading for a class. I just love it! I love the language and the timelessness of the classics.

This isn't even the beginning of my collection, but they're kind of messy at the moment. Why can't I get paid to read? Yes, I know.....I'm a dork. No, actually I am a bibliophile! AND PROUD OF IT!!!!!!

Anyway, back to Jane Austen. I love the fact that more people know more about her life. I found her life facinating because she was so strong and independent for her time. If you think you might be interested, check out Becoming Jane. Yes, there has been some creative license taken, but it does follow her life well. As I said before, I had read about her life, but seeing it protrayed was completely different....I cried like a baby! I love it! Plus James McAvoy is pretty hot.

Day 11

2008-07-07T21:24:00.003-05:00

There is really only one thing that can make me smile when I have had a really crappy day. It doesn't matter how bad of a day I have had, I can walk through the door and when my entire day can melt away and there is nothing left of all the stress and confusion of the long day.

Anyone who has a dog that is more a part of the family than just a pet, understands what I'm talking about.

This is an old picture taken when B lived with his parents until we got our house to a point where we could move in, but I just love how Cooper is falling asleep against B's shoulder. That face can make all the worries and stresses of the day just melt away. I can't imagine my life without his sweet little face.

Day 10

2008-07-06T21:22:00.003-05:00

We're finally home. We spent the morning at the lake again, then headed home after lunch. It felt so good to finally be home. I love his family, and his nieces are truly a handful, but they are just kids (I keep telling myself), but it is still nice to be home.

The house is quiet, except for the gentle humm of the dryer and the 'Mad About You' rerun that I TiVo(ed). Cooper is curled up on the couch snoozing, which is something that he couldn't do in my in-laws' house with his brother and my sister-in-law's hyperactive little shi-tzu (how do you spell that?).

While playing around in the lake with friends, I realized something, now that the 4th of July is over, I've started to let my mind drift to thoughts of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I find that when I get depressed about my current situation (usually work) I try to change the subject on my mind.

While watching one of the reruns of 'Mad About You' Jamie was going through a period where she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with the next 30 years of her life (she quit her job and felt like she was aimlessly drifting). I related to that, only I am still working. I love reruns! They make me feel better; they remind me of a simpler time.